rainy days most of the time this past week, i wonder how many of u have ran in the rain, got drenched on the way home, got ur shoes and socks all wet even though u carried an umbrella, or purely grumbled abt the fact that u have to carry a stupid umbrella to school. but as we continues to grumble about the rainy weather, we should stop and observe what happens b4 a rain, the cloudy days, it is signaling to us that a rain is coming, but why are we still out in the rain? humans, we love to challenge the difficulties, simply bcos we ignored it...

for these past week, i've been pondering about the question of how we handle life and its many events which are gng to unfold in the next moment. and this song 阴天 by karen mok has been circulating in my mind, the lyrics repeating in my thoughts. i must compliment 李宗盛 for composing this masterpiece, the catchy music brought forward a sense of realization, which i've been eagerly trying to find.

what have i been doing, and why i've been wanting to some things, are making me confused. normally when u've failed and been hurt real bad in an experience, u'll tend to become more careful and avoid the same mistakes in the future, for me initially i wanted to avoid doing this task which im not gifted in at all, but these days something inside me is telling me otherwise, and im tempted once again to embark on the journey which i onced walked on. but how can i be sure that i will succeed this time? what will happen if i fail again? just like the lyrics of the song depicted, ppl just cant get enough of things, for example relationships, one after another, hoping that the next one will be THE ONE, but most ended up having their hearts broken one time and another, is it worthwhile?

back to my context, im really afraid, that if i choose to embark on this journey again, i might come back even more weathered and beaten than ever before. i'm still pondering, not knowing whats the next move i should make, and how should i make it, theres too many infomations, too many uncertainties, too many difficulties.

but like how the song sang, 要想真明白，真的要好几年. which means wisdom and knowledge comes with experience, and only by making mistakes and facing failure will u be able to learn and improve. some ppl are afraid to make mistakes, bcos they're afraid that when they've learnt, it would be too late. and thats exactly the case for me during my previous attempt at the task, which i ended up having to regret for a long period of time, but i'll rather learn it late, then to not learn it at all.

so i hope the person up there will give me ur blessings, give me this chance to embark on my journey, as long as the chance is given, and the timing is right, i will definitely do my best and not disappoint myself and everyone around me.

these past week has been crazy, i reach home after 7 everyday in the weekdays, due to trainings, lectures and an outing with royston, totally beat when i reach home, no energy to execute any brain cells to study, but nevertheless i've been trying my best to keep up the pace, and get things started slowly. Lessons has been gng on fine and training is getting more hopeful, im delighted that i havent lost a single match since the start of the year, partly due to the fact that i didnt play with the best players in the team, and another reason is due to the effectively of my china trainings ba. its the start of the week again and things are gng to repeat themselves once again, hope my body can continue to take such stress, both physically and mentally.

i will be involved in a couple of performances in the near future, chinese new year and the opening ceremony of fujian student's association. i feel grateful of all these opportunities to perform in public bcos after last yr's numerous failure performances, i realize i still lack experience when performing in the public, thus i do not hesitate to grab any chance these days, just to perform for a few minutes, i'll be contented. and im picking up my singing again, trying to master the new technique to sing keys i couldnt reach in the past, and have been making progress, the final test is to see how my live performances will improve liaoz.

and sajc chinese song writing competition is starting soon! music enthusiast please look out for it! i've already began to refine my first self-composed song with my guitar teacher, so those who have heard my first demo, im still writing the lyrics so do give me ideas if u have, and to all, do come down to support the competitors on the day itself. which day? i also dunno yet lei...lol but im in the chinese society, so if the date is released, i'll be one of the first to be informed.

alot of random blabbering in this post, plz pardon me, i dunno what im typing half of the time, im grabbing the last few minutes b4 sleep to blog, thanks to my busy schedule, i returned home at 8 plus again today! sianzz...but the days seem to be more meaningful when things get concentrated, and hope more good events will unfold as the year progress, im putting all my hope in year 2008, so i'll not disappoint myself, plz dun disappoint me too yea?