this is a romantic song with a mixed feeling between sadness and happiness, talking about teenage love, how beautiful and memorable is can be. It has been around for 15 years already! Included in david tao first album 1993, however i hope this song will not be relevant to my life, haha cos its quite sad ending i think?

feeling super hyper now, haha cos today i received the best birthday present in 17 years, not expensive, but priceless to me, 让我有许多的感动. Its really the thoughts that count, i appreciate anything my friends gives me, even if its just a piece of tissue paper, or simply being there, spending the afternoon with me, can money get u all this? so dun ask me what i want, cos i like anything from you! say that to ur friends on ur bday in the future!

It has been a long time since fu lu shou sat down around the same table, without any other people around. Really hard to image just 2 years ago, we were always sitting together, talking playing sleeping in class together, enjoying every bit of school life as 3 brothers. Today we are all seperated into different area of the society, but one thing remains unchanged, thats the bond we have, we might not seem to be the closest of friends or even brothers all the time, but at time of crisis, in times of need, im very sure we will try our very best to help each other, thats what brothers are for! Royston is still hardworking, softspoken and enthusiatic in his way. Benedict is still the communicator, able to talk and engage people in conversations, enthusiatic in making new friends and making more money...haha. im still me, but maybe slightly more pessimistic and emo, but also more crazy, daring and outrageous at times lol, and definitely more lazy! I've always been holding on to my principles, making order out of things and staying true to my beliefs, its has been like this for 17 years.

17 years just past me by in a flash, as much as i can remember, its has been quite short for me. maybe its bcos i sloth too much, didnt make full use of my time ba. in this 17 years of my life...what did i do? and what did i accomplish? is it even worth mentioning?

well i was born in xiamen, the cleanest city of my beloved homeland, at around 5pm. My cries could be heard all over the hospital, the nurse even joked to me, "ok dun make anymore noise, everyone knows u arrived already!" haha seems that i was a born attention seeker? as the oldest child in my family, i received much care and love from everyone in my family, even though times were bad and life was difficult for a poor family like us, we led a fullfilling life with lots of family love, that time 7 of us was squeezing ourselves in a one room flat, thinking back, i will be complaining like mad if i was made to live in that condition now, but back then i felt so contented and happy, life was full of joy and no sorrow, but can i return to those days anymore?

as an traditional southern music artist, my mother was one of the few accomplished jack of her trade, she was invited all over china and overseas to perform and teach, thats how we found our way to singapore actually, some rich boss who enjoys my mother's art invited my father to work in singapore. so thinking again, my mother would be more famous if she continued to pursue her career, but she sacrificed herself to become a housewife, taking care of me and my bro, its really not easy for her, but did i even bothered to learn an instrument or two from her? or learn her singing techniques? now it seems her talent is being put to waste.

as a hardworking student, my father was the top student in the village of shaowu, and one of the 25 students from the whole fujian province to be accepted my tsinghwa university, back then he was the talk of the town, and even today his name is engraved on the walls of shaowu first high school, many teachers and villagers still rmb his name. he scored full marks for physics chem and maths, but me? i dun even take chem anymore, and im U-ing evrything else, how do i dare to compare myself with my father in terms of academic? people say 长江后浪推前浪, but i feel that im doing so much worse.

so i can say that in 17 years, two major things i should've done but did not do, first is inquire the skills of my mother, so that her art doesnt end at her generation. second is being a hardworking student like my father. I think i owned most of my failures to this two unaccomplished task, so bday resolution! look back at my life and find the broken pieces, fixed it and move on into the future.

in 17 years i got alot of things, but failed to learn how to appreciate them. Well i managed to step on singapore, which millions of chinese could not, found a school that accepted me and learnt english. made many friends, got into my ideal secondary school, being given a chance to lead and serve, and finally ending up in SA today, with all my closest friends and brothers around. compared to many other people in china, and even in singapore, im considered very fortunate. so tonight i learnt how to appreciate what i have in life, understanding there's limitations in life and being competitive is not always the best mentality.

of cos in 17 years i also faced many crazy things which i shouldnt face as a teenagers, and thats even worse for my brother, facing the same problems but at 7 years younger, if u hear about all the outrageous things thats happening around me, u should think i have many scars in life, many bad memories, but somehow i myself doesnt feel so bad, maybe im too insensitive to emotions, but even though i know the wound is there, i dun feel the pain. Maybe im just too carefree and hecking many things in life. Someone asked me this question: do you think im happy? it was a question for me, but i caused me to ask myself, cos i dun even know whether im happy or sad, pathetic right? i already tired of living after 17 years, hard to imagine how my grandpa survived for so long. but if im happy, what am i happy about? all the friends i made? all the hopes and new possibility in life? then what will i be sad about? unaccomplished goals? sad facts of life? i really dunno, im so insensitive a person haha, but most of the time i look at the limitations of life, accept the sad fact, and find a new possibity and motivate myself to move on...thats basically what i've been doing. hope being one yr older, i will be more sensitive and see things in a brand new way, and finding more happiness in life.

haha i said alot, but actually its just one yr older, there's bday every year, so today isnt really significant, but so much things and changes happened this year, and it really affected me alot and changed my perseption i have for life, so i do hope i will look at everything with a more matured opinion and tackle every obstacle with a positive mind set and clear goal set.

rest of the yr, i will buck up on my long-forgotten studies and enriching myself with table tennis and guitar, in the mean time finding out more about myself and the people around me, i think things are going to get better soon and i will find my happiness somewhere out there. HOPE! yea thats the word, its so useful haha

its so early in the morning now, i wrote so much crap this morning...haha shall go and sleep now and i will have a very nice and sweet dream, esp when theres sweet things laying on my table right now lol