omg its so late already...1.30am...actually not very la but im super tired, but had the urge to blog, thoughts seem to come more truthfully when my mind is in a sub-conscience state. Just came back from taking my scholarship money of $300! =D which will be put to good use XD was surprised to see two other xinminians there too, even though i werent very close to them =P and got to know this girl from HCI, who was from SCGS...and happened to know ryanna and janice!! haha her name is jingwen i think? if rA is reading this...tell me if u know her too =)

this week has been hell for me, for the rest too. everyone in class is tired and weary, everyone in school is as well. Maybe bcos tuesday was a holiday, so everything was crammed into the 4 days of the week, everyone was rejoiced by the fact that friday hopefully arrived, but the torture isnt over...there's simply not enough time to do everything we need to do. i cant believed labour day was only last tuesday, i felt i've gone throught 1 weeks of none stop work in mere 3 days! everyday was burdened with tons of work, and endless activities, had late dismissal everyday and had to report for CCA too. thank god friday finally came, and i was totally beat, walking like a zombie most of the time. Finally completed the PI my teacher was longing for ( cos i havent given him anything b4 ) and i stayed up all the way until 3 to complete, some of my classmates didnt sleep at all XD but i realized everything was worthwhile on friday, when i submitted all the things i need to submit...afternoon came and when the clocked ticked 3.30pm, i hurried to pack my bag and chiong right out of the GSC classroom, breathing in the fragrance of freedom, then i went to sit at the cafe, waiting to see if i'll see anyone, but after half hour no one i know came, and i was dozing off already, so i walked towards the sidegate, this was when i saw mandy and stephy sitting down at the popular seats, so i sat down and talk with them, later ryanna came and they left for sports club, i started chit chatting with ryanna, such a long time nvr really get to sit down and talk to a friend casually liao...everyone is so caught up in the vacuum of busyness that we had to no time to sit and reflect and talk. talked about schoolmates and classmates, ex-classmates and random thoughts, and i slip of my tongue resulted in my phone being raid by rA ( details not included ) time just past me by when i chit chat with ppl, we actually sat there for about 1hour just talking crap XD then when sports club ended the four of us walked out together...after a long day, finally alighted at serangoon and slept as 147 carried me slowly to home...

today the new exco of table tennis team was announced and it was totally occupied by DSA and appeal players, and i was exiled far away from the position of EXCO, i feel super injust at the moment because i dun think i'm being given a good leader to follow, or even good leaders. they are chosen only becos the formal exco was all marist and they were also from marist, and some of them was close with the marist, its so dark and underhand way of gaining leadership. i know im complaining like a fool, but this is my blog so i can say anything i want as long as i dun break the law right? so im not holding back anymore, i dunno if any of my teammates will read this, but sorry to my teammates, i still love u all and SATT, but i just cant stand keeping quiet after this type of thing is happening. captain and exco doesnt have to be the best player in the team, they also dun have to be the most popular or has the most connections, they have to be a good leader...and what makes a good leader? clear vision, serious attitute, committment, servant leadership, determination, disciplined, responsibility etc....i dun see that in the new excos. ok i no im being arrogant by saying this, but i will say it only here, in my blog, i definitely have more of those qualities then everyone in the exco! this sums up everything, my feeling of injustice? or u should call it jealousy? greediness? over-estimate of own self? proud? self-centered? whatever it might be, sorry that i offended my teammates, i just to say it out here. yet again its the formal excos that chose the new excos, so maybe i should say its their fault? stop it already, im making myself look ugly and mean, who knows? maybe the new excos have the ability to lead the team better than me? time will tell everything, and i have faith in my captain, i truly hope that given the responsibility, he will take more initiative and bring the team to greater heights. even though there's still this regret in my heart, i'll cover it all up with happiness i gain elsewhere, now i train not for anyone, not for any purpose, i train only becos of my undying passion for table tennis, i train bcos i love table tennis, im happy as long as there's a place for me to play my beloved game. other things are unimportant already, cos everything is settled, we have to move on...

our principal mrs lim showed us the university entry grades for the 2005 batch, and it was shocking, cos i didnt realize uni was so hard to get in, architect need at least a ABB, and medicine and other bio related stuff needs AAB or something liddat, there must be an A somewhere somehow x_X some ppl seem very demoralize by all those infomation, me? a little bit ba, haha cos im not that sensitive XD but im glad we were shown all those, now finally i get a clearer picture of what i need to achieve at the end of the two years...AAA(A)(A) its abit ambitious arh...but thats me, u can say i make unrealistic goals, but to me i work for an A, if not i dun work at all. dun worry if the infomations are too shocking though, its only our school, so it means that its not the minimal grade across singapore, the minimal grade to get in might be lower, but we shant think about the lowest person, we compare ourselvees to those better than us, thats how we improve. we will work hard together and achieve what we yearn for. Have been looking at the course handouts for NUS architecture course, quite interesting yet demanding, you will need 4+2 years to qualify as a registered architect, by then my hair all white liao X_X just imagine coming out of NS at 20 years old and entering the society at 26, and making my first million in 4 years time...quite hard to imagine arh...but it'll be done! bcos i have had enough of failure and hardship, my family have suffered enough torture and poverty, so im going to improve the living standard of my family and loved ones, the only way to do that...sadly...is by making lots of money.

talked enough liao...alot of crap and random stuff i talked about, some may be offensive and show an ugly side of myself, which i hate too, but throwing all those ugly thoughts out and reflecting upon it is sometimes the best way to become a better person on the whole =)