its drizzling outside...as if the sky is crying for me too...i just wrote a super long essay abt my despair and sorrow and its all GONE!! stupid blogspot...wasted my whole afternoon typing...i shan't retype everything cos i cant, few moments ago i was in the super blue mood and was full of anger and sorrow...but after writing it all out i feel better now....still feel very pissed with the posting results, i feel that i've wasted my time studying...whats the pt of getting 9pts when i couldnt even go into the school i want? i would rather you give me a 11 or 12 pt so that i can go SA without regrets...but as i said life is full of regrets....and there's always something not enough...something u dun have and desire...i came to realize that in the life there's only two situation...succeed or fail...there's nth in between and there's no consolation prizes up for grabs. Its like you can lose a match by a point....or lose it by 10 20 pts...but u still lose!! no one will tell you hey you only lose by one pt, so u deserve the trophy...thats BULLSHIT!! for my case, im the total failure...i fail myself again and again...i just find myself so useless...i've lost all desire to advance now, i dunno what to do and i forgot what i did already...im totally defeated by my destiny, but who is there is save me? who is there to help me up? its always me pulling myself up, how many times must i fall to learn how to walk?? i've had enough of this type of feeling already....secondary i miss the cut-off my 2pts, jc miss by 1pt...no one will tell me hey u are one pt short...nvm we accept u...i really dunno whats wrong with me...failing time and time again...just tell me how much effort i have to put in will you?? i really dunno what will push me on now...sorry my this post super no substance, thanks to the stupid blogspot which deleted my 1000 word essay just now}=< thanks brother look for gng with me to appeal...