its good friday today!!=D i really a break after this tiring week. homecoming will be tomorow, really looking forward to it, thinking that it would be my homecoming as xinmin student really sting me. looking back at these 4 years in xinmin, i should say i feel regretful of wasting my first two years here. sec one didnt get to set up our stall, sec2 totally not involved in our stall, terribly sorry sec2 classmates:( but fortunately i managed to get myself together, and headed the homecoming last year, and we came in fourth in terms of profit! hopefully this year our class will do even better cos we are setting up two stalls!! tomorow will definitely be a day worth waiting for.

also by tomorow, i will forget about you...hopefully...i promised myself that if by tmr i dun get closer to you, i will chose to give up and give my best wishes to you and him. you are the sorrow of my life, seeing you walking with him is like knives piercing through my heart. i cant escape the pain, because you were often near and i will look towards ur direction without realizing it. he is always one step faster then me, and his skin is always one layer thinker then me. in the hall, when you were sitting with your friends waiting for the rehearsal to start, he will appear in front of you and talk to you, but i could only be far behind you, looking at you hopelessly. even when your stall is only next to mine, i could only bring myself to glance at you through the windows, but he was able to accompany beside you for the whole time. i admit that i had lost flat out, i hate myself myself for being so useless...

tomorow marks the end of big events i will go through as a xinmin student. being a graduating student is tough, set aside the academic stress, it is actually about overcoming the sorrow of leaving. xinmin is the place i achieved the best things in my life so far, it is the place where i came to realize how to be a person, and it is the place i realized the importance of friendship. i still could remember very clearly the time when i cried in front of the general office back in fernvale. i did not do well for my psle and was 2 marks short to meet the cut-off for xinmin. i was posted to nan chiau, to come to xinmin i made a decision which i came to regret in the next fews years. i agreed to play for the volleyball team during my stay in xinmin, i didnt how to play volleyball at that time, but the coach agreed to take me in anyway. i dunno why i was so persistent in coming to xinmin, maybe its just from my primary school days i have already decided that i will study in this school called xinmin. or maybe its fate that brought me to xinmin, i really dunno. as a sec1 student, i didnt think i will like xinmin at all, becos i was forced to join the volleyball team, i took as a burden for me. first semester i did work hard as a member of the volleyball team, but i could play well, my teamates are always better than me, i begin to lose confidence in volleyball, when i was introduced to this sport call table tennis in semester 2, i finally realized where i should be, and i gave up volleyball and purse table tennis. but i am still in the vb team. sometimes i will regret giving up vb so early, i hate myself for not being persistent enough. but i am also thankful that i isolated myslf with the rest of the volleyballers, i might not have everything i am having now if i continues to mix with some of them. at least i wouldn't be able to have a brother like roy if i continues to play volleyball. today, after four years, i am already used to people who do not know me well calling me a "ballpicker", i do not blame these people, cos it was my fault to be kicked out of the main team, but i am not sad, bcos like the old saying goes,"you lose something to gain something" and i must say that i have gain far more then i expected.
sec2 years was a blessing to me, even though i dun have much achievements, it opens the door to many opportunities later in sec3. it the year i got to know roy, but we werent very good friends back then. i was quite surprised that mdm sai selected to for the SL interview, it was quite a shock to me bcos i didnt think i was a very good student. my trainee days was also a learning time for me, i came to realize many problems i had within me. but also because i was too cold to my friends when performing duty, i created many obstacles for myself over the next few years.
sec3 was the turning point of my life. i got to know benedict when i was instructed to sit next to him, my impression about him was very bad at the start of the year because i thought he belonged to the "pai kia" group, but after talking to him for a while roy ben and i became very good friends. meanwhile my relationship with other peers dropped to its worst, to the extent that in beijing, all the boys launched a boycott towards me, i was totally shattered at that point becos even my best friend turned against me. fortunately, thanks to ms tee, she helped me clear the boycott and made me realized what's wrong with my actions and speeches. the beijing trip changed me totally and helped me got the all the friends i had lost, it also allowed me to learn how to be a better person and i begin to have a larger group of friends. the problems are still with me today and i am still trying to get rid of it.
sec4 was my best year yet, i managed to clear many misunderstandings among my peers and restart good relations with many people. now i finally realized what is friendship.

i want to thank all the people in xinmin that have made a difference in my life.
first fu for teaching me so much about life, and how to get along with others.
shou for going through tough and thin with me, playing tt with me all these years, making my life colourful
ms tee, for helping me realize my mistakes, giving me for much faith by letting me into chinese debate, and sending me for xiangsheng compeitition. i will not have achieve what i have today without your help
the DBs, for letting me be part of the organization and giving me leadership opportunities
SLB for making my life in xinmin so meaningful, i love xinmin, but i love the SLB even more.
mdm sai for selecting me for the SL interview
and lastly you, for letting me understand how useless i am...