im so glad its finally the end of 2009, and what a long, eventful and gruelling one year it has been for me. 2009 doesnt feel like 365 days to me, it feels like 2009 days, thats the best description i can give you.

the year has definitely been eventful without a doubt, starting with me coming back from a fruitful trip to china with my godbrother royston. Back then i lived everyday like Sunday, practically rotting at home and occasionally searching for jobs to do, until i finally received the long await call from mr tang. I began my short but enjoyable career as a relief teacher in xinmin, where i was totally blessed with joy at work in every aspect, even though work was long and tiring, i did not feel the fatigue at all, i looked forward to everyday at work, working with my teachers and interacting with students: something i loved to do. Man, i would love to go back to those 2 months...

before i knew it 3 mths passed and i enlisted into the SCDF (don't be confused, yes i said 2009 was slow, it started to become slow from this moment) and after a short 3 days orientation as a recruit, i was thrown aimlessly into a gruelling and painstaking 24-weeks emergency response specialist course where i was trained physically and mentally as a fire-fighter, an emergency responder and a rescuer. Most of my rantings this year was during the course, especially the start and the end.

i can still vividly remember how each day ended with me lying anywhere on my dorm floor, staring at the ceiling with sweat-soaked uniform. i can still rmb how bad our fire jackets smelled everyday after training and we still had to wear it the next day, be it wet or dry, dirty or clean. i still rmb the first time i cried since ages ago, when i was pushed to my physical and mental limit. i still rmb waking up at 5am every morning running rounds and rounds around the camp, getting our shirts all soaked b4 breakfast. i rmb all the tears, sweat, laughter and joy that i've gone thru this 6 mths, i cant rmb how many times i thought of giving up, thought of quiting, but the thought of proving others wrong motivated me to push on, and finally endure through everything. i wouldnt say its the best 6 mths in my life, its definitely not something i wanna go thru again, but i has been a great experience and exposure that most of my counterparts in army and police wouldnt get.

just as i thought surviving the course was the end, it was actually the beginning. life after passing out is actually as tough as trainee life, becos now my shoulders are heavier, and my motivation as an NSF has deteoriated to the minimal, going to work everyday since 5 Oct 2009 has been a mental torture to me mostly, waking up at 5.30am and gng to choa chu kang 5 days per week is something i have never done before. i begin to understand the life of a typical white collar, how monotonous and taxing life can be on us, but i think i feel more sian, working as an underpaid NSF and being forced to work under many regimentations. looking on the bright side, im glad to be working under nice officers and enciks who understands our thinking and feelings, but i have yet to find the drive to go to work. i believe if i was working for xinmin now, staying back till 11pm is no problem, but now i think of gng home even b4 lunchtime -_- i clearly saw the difference in output when ppl are tasked to do something by choice and by force, and distance really play a big part in our life, especially when it comes to working place and home, it cannot be too far apart when u have no car!

despite all my grumbles, i know i have been a very lucky instructor, being able to work with nice officers is one, another is being able to run two consequtive NCDCC courses at the start of my appointment. which means i get to work with schools and interact with students again, it really brought colour to my dull and grey NS life, even though working with fellow collegues was not always a pleasant experience, the ability to interact with youngsters has made me infected with their enthusiasm, and at the end of the day, the fun and laughter overpowered any unhappiness the day brought. so thank you officers for giving me this unique experience.

now my main job as an instructor just started, with me instructing 49 officers-to-be, things didnt start out too smoothly for me, as i fell seriously sick after my first day at work, and had to take the whole week off lying in bed, feeling bad both physically and mentally. more mentally cos i think i've ps-ed my dear officer who treated me so well, yet i fell at such a crucial moment. like i always prayed for, i hope all my mistakes are forgiven and my officer understand my situation. for 2010, this course is gng to be the only thing that i set my mind into and i will give my 110% to ensure everything goes on smoothly, hope the person up there can be the witness and bless me with the strength, stamina and wisdom needed to survive this 31-week course.

that practically sums up the year 2009, with me lying in bed sick on new years eve =( looking back on 2009, i really have too much to say, but firstly i just wanna thank everyone that has came into my life, giving me energy, be it positive or negative. i got to see a new light into the society i live in, an aspect where most of my peers will not see. i got a peek into the life in the real working world, where papers are not everything and talents are no necessary recognised, everything needs to connect for one to succeed. but above it all, i wanna thanks all loved one, my family and my friends for sticking with me through this year of 2009, full of waves and turbulences, but WE MADE IT THROUGH!

2010 will be just another year for me, doing pretty much the same thing, being restricted by this responsibility called NS. ORD is still a long long way for me, i hope wat others say are true, 2 yrs very fast one...but b4 i start to complain abt how long more i have to endure, i have many things i wish to achieve in 2010, b4 i ORD, and i will list them down here:

1. learn driving
2. get my foundation on architecture(autocad, 3dmax and photoshop)
3. restart my studio and composition
4. revamp my room
5. improve guitar and learn one more instrument, piano or drums
6. teach tuition (yea please look for me if u need)
7. reconnect with friends (sorry if im MIA, its all NS fault! =P)
8. save money for uni days
9. and lastly, reconnect with my blog XD

ok i think thats more than enough things to keep my year occupied, more may come in soon as i cant think of all of them at the moment, the urge comes and goes XD but the top 3 are my all-time priorities, if u r interested to embark on them with me, u are definitely welcomed! =D

i hoped for a peaceful 2009, and it didnt turn out that peaceful in my perspective, but so im gng to ask the person up there again for 2010, i hope its gng to be a peaceful year for me and everything to go smoothly, hope i will find my direction again as i've been lost for quite a while, and help me make all the right decisions and not regret them later in life. more imptly, i hope all my friends and loved ones are at peace too, and maybe they find their direction in life and not feel astrayed like i did. ultimately, i hope 2010 will be a fast and peaceful yr where everyday pass by so quickly, its gone in a blink of an eye! and i can finally breath the air of a free man once again, in 2011...till then...

i wish you a fruitful and meaningful year ahead, since u are reading this, u must be someone really close, and of great importance to me, i thank you for spending the past one year with me and hope we have many more one years to come in the future. all the best to you! =D