probably the most significant event that took place the past week is the release of our PW results, and it hasnt been a very pleasant event for me, at least.

seriously, i had almost forgotten that i took PW la, after such a long lag time between the last time i saw my WR till last friday, it has been almost 4 months le ba. PW has long been left in my brain's recycle bin since last yr, and it sounded strange when my frend actually told me that friday was PW day, then i suddenly realized, "O theres PW results awaiting to be known!"

there was no lesson mood at all from everyone in the class, and when mrs lee announced our cohort performance this yr, the whole school applauded and cheered, bcos we improved alot from last yr. last yr theres only 6 ppl who got A amongst the whole cohort, and this yr, 109 ppl got A. and last yr 75% of the cohort got ABC, this yr, 60% of the cohort got As and Bs, so is that some achievement worth celebrating?? we were all high on our morales, until we got into class, and until we received the stats from other JCs. just when we thought 15% A was good, other colleges are having 98% A, 87% A, and 75% As, just to mention a few, and seeing all my frends from other colleges getting As, put me in a dilemma of whether i should be happy for them? or sad for myself?

for my class, we did not do as well as we should do, and i can feel the sorrow of every single soul in that very classroom. and then popped out from my CT's mouth, "im really disappointed la...", i think it really made alot of ppl in the class even sadder. but it brought forth to me yet another phenomenon of life: perspectives. sometimes when we view things from our own perspectives, we come up with conclusions totally different from other ppl, simply because we had different amound of information regarding the issue, and we see things at different angles. when my CT feels disappoint, and when he said that," i think the results truly reflects the amount of effort put in by individuals...", i assume he feels that we have not done what we ought to do, and we have no put in enough effort to deserve an A. but from our point of view? those ppl who feel sad, they might feel that they've put in all their effort and the results was just unfair to them. whatever the truth might be, we will nvr know who is right and who is wrong, but the moral of the story is: always respect other ppl's opinions, even though it changed, so its time to forget about past grudges and grieves, and move on to the more impt might oppose yours, that will make this world a much more peaceful to live in. since the results are out, it cannot be challenges ahead. dwelling on the question of right and wrong will not bring the class anywhere further.

for sajc, i think our results were good already, its just that it wasnt good enough to set us atop other colleges. this problem of good and good enough is ever evident in today's competitive society, everywhere can be an invisible battleground. when we work hard for something, its no longer about working to improve urself, but working to win over others, we do not set our own targets anymore, others set them for us, and we're forever trapped in this spiral of working to the top and being overtaken, if u know what i mean. i think what mr phang said to me was very true, what results we get for alvls is not impt, whats more impt is how others did compared to u, u can still be the top student with BCD if other ppl are all getting S and Us...lol this is very troubling, bcos arent exams suspose to test how good we are, and not whether we are good enough? the present gauge of standard uses a bell curve to decide our grades, and u can get A even though u scored only 50%, bcos others are all failing. this means our grades does not truly reflect how good we are, but how good we are compared to ppl of our age, but in this society, we're not only interacting with ppl of our age, what about the others? its very much about luck these days, what subj u take, who u taking it with, and not that much about how good u really are, and whether u really score 70% or above. furthermore, this society and this system we have just doesnt allow ppl to be equal, the good must be the minority on the bell curve, even though everyone scores 90% and above, there is bond to be differentiation in the grade awarded, studying for me for the past years hasnt been to truly increase my knowledge, but to tackle exams, and win over others, and this feeling isnt good.

so even though sajc's PW result is still rocking the bottom, it doesnt mean we're not good, its just that others are better, and maybe a better system? i just hope all the saints out there who are still emoing over our PW results will get through it soon and get a grip, the journey ahead will be even tougher, but i believe all of us will get through it as long as we have the right mentality. looking on the bright side, SAJC is really improving, from last yr to this yr, and i hope this batch of ours will have a breakthrough, i can see the efforts put in by the school authorities to improve our results, and i can see that most ppl around me are all geared up. that leaves me out of the norm...haha its time for me to pack up and set on this journey together with the rest, and may we meet in front of the gates of success.

thank you for bearing with me until this point=D haha whether u are on the same boat as me or not, i wish for all the best in whatever challenges that lies ahead of you.




wednesday marked the end of an important chapter of my life, it ended when sajc table tennis was lost to hwa chong institution by a score of 1-4, it signals the end of my table tennis career, a short but fulfilling one ba i suspose...

its was not our year, bcos we didnt even qualify for the second round, which we usually will, largely because of our draw...we ended up in the same group as HCI and NJC, both were tt powerhouses, and to qualify for the next round, we had to beat one of them, of cos which, didnt happen. I could feel the pain in my teammates due to this great setback, but we cannot change what has past, now is the time to accept fate and regroup, reflect and recollect. i'm quite certain next yr will be better. looking on the bright side, our girls team are still in the competition, and they do possess the ability to fight into the top4, so we guys should give them our fullest support en route to the future competition, it's not over for sajc yet.

on a more personal level, im very glad to finally have a chance to play for the team this year, after a forgettable one-match season last yr, i just feel lucky to be able to be actively involved in the matches this yr, even though im quite disappointed with my performances. even though i won my match against TPJC, i lose my most anticipated match against NJC, and finally lost again to HCI, im not sure if i could've won either NJC or HCI, but i am sure i could've put on a much better fight. my skills have deproved since i came back from china, and both my skills and mentality have not been matured enough, there's still a long way i have to go for table tennis. i just want to apologise to my team, u guys trusted me, but i failed u guys, and i failed myself too.

on a lighter note, i feel very blessed to have ended my career with a worthy opponent and friend, my secondary school XiangSheng partner Ma Long. one day b4 the match i was already telling royston that i hope to meet malong, it will be the best match ever, and to my pleasure, he was playing against me for the last singles. our moral was super high when yingjie won the first match, which placed us 1-0 atop HCI, but after close losts by our second doubles and second singles, i think it really dampened our moral, but i still couldnt contain the excitement to play with malong, the best player in HCI and one of my best PRC friend. As i wished, both of us did not gave each other any leeway, we played the best our mental and skills could bring us, but i was still the more immature player, even though i finally lost 3-0, im still very happy to compete with him fairly and been able to give him some pressure. after the match, malong whispered to me while we shook hands, "你已经进步很多了!" and that is all i ever wanted to hear, really...an achnoknowledge from a respectable friend of mine, win and lose didnt seem important anymore at that moment. i've really totally enjoyed the game, and the season. thank you satt for giving me this chance, im really grateful.

for the team, i just hope that the guys do not let our low morale affect the girls, and we should continue to encourage and support them for the remaining competition. just my own opinions, i feel we also should not blame our failure this yr entirely to fate, there were factors which we could control, but we didn't handle them properly. to me, i believe that there's a difference between a person in-charge and a leader. a person in-charge will administer the team's business, decide training timings, inform players about trainings and execute basic team activities like PTs. but a leader of a team have a vision for the future, he has a set of plan ready to be executed to push the team to greater heights, he has to be able to inspire the players' attitude towards training, their discipline, mentality and ultimately bond the team with a common goal in mind, and lastly he has to be rational and daring to stand up for the team and make the player's voices heard by higher authority. from my observation, satt has people-in-charge, but theres a lack of people with leadership qualities i mentioned above, and that is a major factor why we suffered such a big lost this yr. at least on the surface, our team's discipline is loose, we give up easily, we lack the determination, maybe not everyone is like that, but as a team, when one teammate is slack, the whole team is slack, i believe all for one and one for all.

yingjie or any of my teammates, i dunno if you will be reading this, but i hope you guys do not get angry by my opinions of the team, i am just voicing out what i truly feels, there has been so many problems in the team which i've seen in these 2 years, but i am in no position to do anything about it, it's troubling to me, but soon i will be leaving the school and the team, all i wish is for the team to soar even higher. to yingjie, if you feel that you can take up the post as captain next yr, which i think you can, i really hope u can evaluate my opinion and make the team better, do not be the person in-charge, but be a leader who people look up to. i have not been in any teams b4, satt is my first team, i dunno how is things done back in marist or peiqun, but i dont believe that anything can be accomplished without serious hardwork and determination, our team really needs to instill more discipline and systematic training approaches, and that requires a firm and serious leader, and this culture needs time to cultivate. we will not get good players like you or pakata every year, how do we stay atop? i think team nyjc 2007 was a good example and role model for us, their discipline, their systematic approach, their player's mentality, allowed them to succeed. all in all, i hope you guys continue to chose your leaders intelligently and keep up with the right mentality, of cos it'll be important that coaches continue to push the players even further.

i can see the fire in the eyes of every player in satt when we are in the midst of a game, why cant we use the same passion and determination on our everyday life?

satt is my first table tennis team, and im really glad to be able to be part of it, even if i had to sit on the bench this entire 2 years, i will still find it worthwhile, to be able to know so many friends with similar passion, and to be exposed to many new things, im more than glad to have spent 2 years of my life with satt, thank you guys!

there's still many things i need to learn, both in life and in table tennis. even though my table tennis career has ended, but im sure it will be restarted soon, and rest assured that i will not stop training and improving myself, i will make sure by the next time i play with you guys again, you will be able to see my improvement, and i hope to see satt improving in the near future. for now its time to seal my racket and pick up my pen and paper, there's another thing which i need to prove my worth in.

there's many things worth anticipating in the coming weeks, especially DT's concert which i cant wait already. following the end of my season, CCA is also almost over for me, these 2 weeks has been very tired and shagged, i'll take this coming weekend of rest myself and prepare myself for the weeks to come.

all the best everyone! esp to satt girls, you all have my support always=)