GP is finally over!! yay i shant comment on the GP paper or how well i will do, i believe all SAINTS will have the SAME opinion as me...and THATS exactly what my post this time round is going to be about! AND since GP is over, i can leave my angmo aside until november 9, when i finish my GSC A Levels exams! its time to think and write in CHINESE again! 1, 2, 3...好的开始咯！先看看下面这幅海报。。。
你会不会觉得有点奇怪？甚至有点毛骨凁然？他的确是部恐怖片哦！了解我的人应该知道我最不喜欢看恐怖片了，可这次我不但自愿看，而且还是一个人在凌晨1点多看哦！哈哈*拍手* 其实我是被电影的宣传片吸引，因为我觉得这部电影充满了哲理，有别于普通的恐怖片，它不只是吓吓那么简单哦！

其实这部电影并不恐怖，介于恐怖片和科幻片之间，常看恐怖片的你可能不以为然。我今年还蛮走运的，看的每一部电影都蛮有意义的。我喜欢一个人在家里看电影，因为这样才能得到启发。

故事由“爱国者”太空飞船坠落开始，一种不明的细菌开始传开。这是一种只有在睡觉的时候才会发作的病毒，中毒者只要睡一觉，醒来后就会成为一个样子不变，记忆不变，却毫无感情的人。起初中毒的人不多，没人理会，政府也极力掩盖科学家的发现，将病毒形容为“流感病毒”。主角nicole kidman是一名心理医生，有一天他的一名病人告诉她“我的老公不是我的老公！”，NK感到奇怪，可没有多虑，可是怪事接二连三的发生。NK离婚3年的老公突然要见孩子，一名女子无端端在告诉公路上乱跑，喊着“救命！他们来了！”，NK的儿子也和朋友说“我爸爸有点奇怪”。随着中毒的人越来越多，这群“病人”越来越猖狂，只要发现没被感染的人就会将他们抓起来，并将病毒转给他们，使他们也成为一分子。影片的一半我们就能看到满街走的人豆面无表情，待人虚伪，只要你表露一丝感情，他们就一拥而上，把病毒转给你。NK发现这些“病人”是毫无情感的，所以只要自己不表露感情，他们就无法发现她，所以她就如此瞒天过海，试图找回被前夫拐带的儿子，不幸她最后还是感染了病。可她知道只要不睡觉就不会“转变”成“病人”，所以强迫自己不睡觉，也在家的墙壁上写上“don't sleep, don't go home, i'll find you, mom.”因为她深怕儿子也感染了病毒。故事的最后，NK和他的儿子顺利获救，科学家们也研制出了抗止病毒的方法，其中一个科学家在片尾说的一句话值得我们深思: dun ask me qns, pick up a newspaper! for better or for worse, we're humans again.

不要笑我，看完这电影的那晚，我真的在梦中梦见我是身在电影里的一个人，走在街道上极力掩盖自己的感情，装作好像机器人一样，感觉好真实啊！可能是这部电影对我的感染太深了，还是我胆太小了！哈哈！

我认为故事主要有2个层面可以分析，社会和政治。可他对社会的看法让我有比较多的共鸣。片中一名外交官说道：“don't you agree that no matter how civilised we are today, we are unable to get rid of the animal instinct in us, and all of us are capable of committing the least desirable things when the we're put under the circumstances.” 我无法不认同他的说法，看看我们周围的世界吧！你觉得我们很发达，很先进，很高尚吗？事实是在华丽的面纱背后隐藏的，是我们永远无法磨灭的兽性，那种欺善怕恶，自私自利，卑鄙无耻的心态。它存在于我们每个人心中，只是我们不断地在克制它，不将它释放出来，可只要环境允许，我们的本性就会透露，看过Battle Royale的人应该明白这一点。就像我们学生无形的竞争，有形的比赛，我们只不过是生活在一个有电源，有网络，有麦当劳的高科技森林罢了，我们无法逃避弱肉强食，你死我活的社会现实。

再看看片中的“病人”，他们和我们又有何分别？路上的行人，哪一个不是面无表情，脚步匆忙。回到家里，你回和家人说几句话？在饭桌上会聊什么话题？我们的亲人到底有多“亲”呢？再回到我最开头写道的，现在的人还有“独特”可言吗？每个人对一样事物的看法都大同小异，有多少人会多动动脑筋？多思考？我们是不是都成了金钱和权力的奴隶，或是现代社会培育出来的“机器人”呢？就如影片中一样，人人思想都一样没什么不好，社会进步的会更快，没有战争和仇恨，可这是你我想要的生活吗？这是我们这个社会想要得吗？

我并不想给这部片子戴上政治的面纱，可是我也无法遮掩它隐含的政治气息。故事里的“病人”就好像生活在共产主义下的人民，思想完全一致，毫无你我之分，而且深信他们的世界是最好的。这里似乎有讽刺共产主义的意思。我就算不是中国人也会说，导演大错特错了！生活在共产主义下的人民不是没有情感，思想单一的！反之，他们有着浓浓的乡情和亲情，也有着自己的生活和想法，只使他们有着同样的信仰，就好像信仰基督教一样，看看朝鲜人你就会明白了。

我觉得我写的乱七八糟，不知道你看得懂吗。。。哈哈不过谢谢你看到这里！不容易啊！*拍手* 不过这部电影真的值得一看，看了就会明白我的意思。我的华语真的需要再进步，写一篇影评都写不好。。。嗨。。




thanks to the lovely maths test(all chapters), i had study from scratch thru the night and still had time to take a satisfying 1hour nap b4 heading to school. amazing, just like what happened to me last week, i survived the whole day of school and after-school activities without falling aslp during anyone of them. and LUCKY for me, i might already be sick, but i didnt get SICKER! hooray for JC life!

today's a HAPPY day! no comments about how will i do for maths test or how the last day of proper lessons went. academics aside, today's great! firstly its my cassandra mei's bday! secondly i was late without being caught for a THIRD time! thirdly i had SPRINGROLLS and GREENBEAN for breakfast! forthly i said sayonara to EOM once and for all! fifthly CULINARY CLUB is finally set up proper and recruited our first batch of members! and lastly and most importantly...I WENT BACK TO XINMIN!

fate brought me back to xinmin today. after my culinary club founding members' outing at TP today, GJ and i went home together, and we took 159, which i seldom take cos it will take me at least half and hour to reach home from TP, but i forgot this fact today. so i stole the time on the bus to catch a quick shuteye, i think sometimes...simple pleasures in life is all that we need to be happy, just like how i LOVE long bus rides when im sleepy, i feel so shiok to sit at the back of the bus, where i could get a perfect posture for sleeping, and the bus nvr seem to reach my house. but today there was something extra, i saw 2 xinmin students, one of them my SLB junior rehearsing MC scripts on the bus. and omg they were NERVOUS man, can tell straight from the way they're speaking, but thats not the point. i asked and got informed about xinmin's mid-autumn festival celebration that night! and i was totally clueless about it until that point of time. so i did not hesitate to dash home, bathed and chionged back to my second home, XMS!

the foyer of xinmin was unusually brightly lited when i entered the ever-so-homely school compound, saw many of my junior SLs helping out with the booth selling mooncakes and stuff, many other juniors were stationed at their respective duty location, so i leaped into the hall at the 2nd floor, the first teacher i saw was exactly the teacher i desired to see most, ms tee, and beside her ms phan, as soon as they saw me, ms tee said,"o my the little white face is here! hahah quickly go sit at the vip seats!" and pointed towards the seats at the front of the hall. but i took a detour and walked from the back of the hall, at the last sit behind the hall i saw cai lao shi sitting alone, so i greeted her and sat down. the hall seemed brighter than when i was in xinmin, maybe its bcos i didnt return too long liao, and man i feel old...first bcos that night's activity was a combined performance with xinmin sec and xinmin primary, so i could see little kids jumping up and down, and secondly when i looked at the crew and cast, i could barely recognise 5 names, in the past i could easily match 99% of the names to faces...haha time really flies, now the people incharge are all the sec 3 and 2, which in my memories...are still kids feeling lost during their sec1 orientation. anyways the performances and games were very innovation, definitely an EE, but the execution part was abit messy. the urshers and AVA crew were also not very efficient, to the extent poor old cai lao shi had to move chairs and stand near the cables, so i had no choice but to go personally to the urshers and ask them to mobilise their manpower. then cai lao shi and i discussed about chinese and poems until the end of the performances. after that there was this "lantern walk" thingy so all of us when down, i was feeling out of place with all the strangers around when charmaine came to talk to me, and im so grateful to have someone to chitchat with, if not i was look and feel so out of place with all the primary school kids around. after we went to the balcony garden for buffet and there i met many juniors and continue chitchatting with them regarding jc life and so on. after helping them clear up the place and talking to some teachers, i went back with a sense of contentment in my heart. even though i had only one hour of sleep, returning back to xinmin provided me with more relaxation and rest then sleeping at home.

today's performance reminded me that i was one of the founding member of xinmin's mid-autumn concerts, back at year 2005, when i was sec 3. i still could clearly rmb how we set up the teahouse in the canteen, planned all the performance ourselves and selling the tickets...haha it was really fun because we had no one to help us, so we had to think of "home-made" performances. i was the MC cum performer, together with malong we performed a cross-talk...its really memories that wouldnt be erased. and ms phan as usual came to me today and start her emotional speech about my past in xinmin, this brought back many memories of xinmin for me too, both happy and unhappy. ms phan said the teachers were worried that i couldnt survive well in xinmin friends cos of my careless tongue, but even though i am casual with my comments, im also casual regarding other ppl's comment about me, so i dun bear grudges against anyone in school, and i am know what i want in life, so i wouldnt let other ppl's comment affect me. and in the end i survived xinmin quite happily in the end. and yea what she said is very true, and it makes me think about myself now, am i the same person i used to be? well of cos i still dun bear grudges and tend to be careless with speeches, but do i know what i want in life right now? i think nowadays im too concerned with how people look at me, and how i present myself infront of people, causing actions which i do which are not from my true intentions. so here i shall remind myself not to forget my ultimate goal in life, and thats to earn my first million at age 30 and retire at 35! so to do that i must study hard now and work hard always, money will be the biproduct! shouldnt care much abt other things which doesnt contribute to this goal.

things hasnt been going on quite smoothly in class. on wednesday my CT gave my name to the DM bcos of my "long" hair, i seriously feeled very betrayed. all my life my teachers around me helps us, not only in studies but in coping with schoollife too, i nvr seen any teacher who would wish their students get into trouble, bcos both parties do not stand to gain anything. my hair is not even long compared to many other guys in school and no other teachers comments on it except my CT, and i dun understand why must he always pick on me when it comes to hair, its like he's crazy about my hair and scrutinize it so thoroughly everyday. its not like i want to purposely keep long hair, i cut my hair regularly too. he says he dun want me to create any trouble for him...but who is creating problem for who right now? who is the one who complain about me to the DM? and whats worse...putting words in my mouth, accusing me of saying things i didnt, exagerating things JUST to make sure the DM wants to see me. maybe he feels shiok that i am in trouble. maybe he just dislike me, for what reasons i dunno. i never seen a teacher, esp form teacher liddat one, who purposely make life difficult for me, its totally disgusting. if i can be on good terms with all teachers except one, where does the problem lie? in me or in that teacher? i hope i didnt offend anyone, and i dun think i made any personal attacks, this IS my blog, i just cant contain this displeasure.

my flu is getting better now, but my voice havent recover yet, at the start of the weeks i was even worse. but i still had to MC the sajc mooncake festival performance thingy, which was so messy, lucky its over. i was having a hard time talking properly and i think i throw up alot of crap, haha sorry both arts and science fac CL students, i hope you enjoyed urself though. one thing i want to comment about is the attitude towards chinese amongst jc students, esp sajc. its hurts when i see chinese students speaking chinese with difficulty or detesting chinese, and whats worse, they look down on chinese, and YET their GP is no where near good. this just goes to show what type of education they are put through, totally no sense of identity at all. singapore students should be proud about being able to use both english and chinese, and not reject chinese, come on englishman speaks english, frenchman speaks french, and we chinese speaks chinese! we should be proud of using our own language! i think the biggest failure in a person, is not being able to appreciate their own culture and language, and blindly follow what they believe to be "of a higher class". seriously im very dissapointed by the neglect of chinese among many jc students, not all la of cos.

classroom politics is the "in" right now. last time 5 of my class's girls made up the only one ruling party in my class, the MASSES, they controled the treasury of the class and their party objective is: i dunno. lol so we guys officially Culinary Club and currently we've already taken over as the ruling party, our objective is to share good food with each other and appreciate the good tasting food around. LOL so yea both MASSES and Culinary Club will be recruiting! take ur sides now! or you can also start ur own third opposition party..hahah...

i almost 24 hours nvr sleep liaoz...lol this week is very eventful and promos is coming soon, i will definitely make sure i promote, its time to start studying intensively...then u must be wondering why am i still blogging? haha cos monday is GP!! and writing improve GP! yay all the best for the exams everyone!




first week of term 4 just past me by, like a breeze so light, too light for me to even sense its depature, but as i stand stagnant at the same spot i was three mths ago, others have already climbed way beyond the limit of my vision, and i could only dwell on the fact of who am i: slack, lazy and no self-discipline. and what i feared most happened: im SICK! again! im losing too much sleep i guess, like merely 1.5 hours to 2 h everyday...it's killing me

the week didnt start off quite nicely for me. Firstly its rained all morning on monday, so i missed my beloved PE and bball sessions, and i had no lessons till 12.30! so i was practically consumed with boredom. spent the first part of the morning slacking at the gallery while helping GJ work out the variable n, but we didnt manage to succed after all. i was so shocked at the way my class is studying, who group using the free morning to mug in the library, and they mugged thru the whole week! while im here blogging...im already way behind everybody, i sincerely hope our class will value-add for promos and become one of the top class. that afternoon i had no randy lesson too, i we dismissed at 2.30...forgot if i got any program that afternoon, so i think i went home to slack, as always...

tuesday got abit luck, it rained madly on my way to school, and i was without an umbrella, but managed to long bang belinda's car to school with pakata, rain stopped as soon as PE started, but PE was so boring that day, we didnt get to play any bball, instead we play friendly with A7, and trashed them upside down! ok i shalll not try to sound so cocky...lol but up till now the only classes we lost to are S13 and S24 i think, for captain's ball, i definitely look forward to a rematch, we will win this time! S-paper is quite a challenge to shawn right now, he's working on it everyday i hope, but i do hope he will eventually get an A. dismissed at 2.30 after H1 lesson, shawn has geog so i left home with GJ.

wednesday i woke up at 7.15am...so obviusly i am late for school, so i took my time to wash up and eat, and reached school at 8.05am liddat, the sidegate was closed liao and im not suspose to be able to enter the school until 12.30, but that day my lesson ends at 12.30, meaning i will have to miss all my lessons, thus i climbed in to school thru the side gate fences, lucky no one caught me in actions except those members of the public hahaz. had some stupid survey that afternoon and moon cake festival rehearsal in the afternoon, so stayed back to study in the library awhile then went to busy myself. mooncake festival is soo screwed up, whole of CRC only me and chuchu were present, and the ppl who planned the activities were MIA, and the hardcore members were not even involved, i do hopeful mr kwek can see who are the ones really commited in helping him with CRC, and choose the excos wisely.

wed night, or u can say thursday morning was hell. i lied on the bed at 2am, very very tired, and was trying to fall asleep, but strangely, the moment i enter the state of sleep, something wakes me up, and stops me from falling asleep, it seems like i am soo tired, but unable to fall aslp, this continue till 5am, while i fell aslp and woken up repeatly...then i rmb i stepped onto something i shouldnt have outside school another day, so in my semi-concious state of mind, i started to pray and apologize, miraculously, as soon as i did that, i fell aslp immediately. strange. so thursday i was super tired due to 1 hour of sleep, but it was a long day for me, i really had the urge to slack off and sleep during some lectures, but i didnt! surprisingly,i perservered thru the whole day, tutorials lectures consultations...but i was damned pissed with the photocopy lady, i was eagerly trying to get a copy of the maths revision solutions for the test on friday, but she just wouldnt give it to me, she kept insisting i need to get my maths rep to collect foe the whole class, so inflexible...inefficiency- problem of a monopoly market. lucky chuchu brought it with her so i photocopied from her, if not my maths test is GG. o yea thursday was also loan's bday, so we took some pictures during GP



got a shock of my life on thursday night/ friday morning. cos i apparently fell aslp at 8pm on thursday, and when i woke up, everything was dark around me and i thought i slept until morning without studying for maths test! but luckyily the clock showed 12am. so there i went, studying maths from scratch until 4.30am, then b4 i barely closed my eyes, the day broke and my alarm sounded. so i got barely 1h of sleep. but to my surprise, i survived the whole day with 1 hour of sleep, assembly test lectures and tutorials! friday afternoon i also went to lucas to see dentist, after that we met pakata at queensway shopping centre to looka t our team jacket, but the design wasnt that attractive so we decided to put it off till new designs appear. even though we didnt get the jacket, it wasnt a wasted trip cos i did alot of catching up with lucas, my double partner, its been a long time since we chatted and got to know each other's juicy secrets! hahaz!

but one week of no sleep didnt come without a price, my throat started to itch on friday and now i totally lost my voice again, and im coughing so much i think im gng to cough out my lungs soon, i slept from 8pm on friday till 12am on saturday, thats like 16hours? but i still felt giddy cos i got a mild fever, so after lunch i slept again, from 4 to 7, thus i apparently slept the whole day, but im not feeling much better after so much sleep, hopefully i'll recover tmr, if not i cannot MC on tuesday and wednesday liaoz...

im not in a right mind now to think, apparent im too giddy..and another reason is im having STM, this past week packed so many events that i cant remember what happened on which day...haiz im really losing track with my life. something i learnt during ME lesson: Life is always understood backwards. and thats sad, bcos we have to make mistakes b4 we learn what is correct, and we have to lose someone b4 we understand how impt they are.

today jasper called me with hongyou's phone to invite me to join xms student leader alumni board, or SLAB...lol reminds me of SLAP. ok what he told me is my junir SLs now are in dire states, and they are not up to standard, so SLAB is formed to prove assistance and training for the slb and excos, and to keep the standard of SLs high, jasper came up with this proposal. and of cos i agreed to join without second thought, as long as xinmin needs me, i will always be there to serve as long as my ability allows, cos i always believes i can nvr contribute back to my school enough to compare with how much xinmin has nurtured me. and its also painful to hear that SLB is facing the danger of collapsing, cos if it does, i had a part to play in it, i hadnt been a very good general secretary at all, i practically slacked thru it, and i still feel this regret till today. but i do not hope to see this SLAB thing being misunderstod by the juniors as a way seniors are using to control the SLB even when we're not xinmin students anymore, cos actually we do not have any power to interfere with xinmin stuff anymore, and by starting up SLAB we are making it so obvious that the present batch of SLs are not capable. and who sets the standard for SLs? are they not meeting the school's standard or OUR standard? i do think sometimes we seniors care for the board too much, to the extend that we always see juniors as not as capable as us, bcos of that we always intervene into their planning and decision, making them forever depending on us. this will result in a weakening board after every generation, bcos 4ever they will be consulting the seniors and when will they start thinking for themselves? i do think that the SLB should be left on its own to solve its own problems, and they should be the ones asking us for help, and not us trying to set up something to help them. the fact is SLB will not collapse in reality, and it has long collapsed in the minds of xinmin students, now its not about how to stop the board from collapsing, its about how to rebuild it. after coming to JC i learnt many new ways leaders can lead and how SLB can operate, and im definitely gng to share these with my beloved SLB back in xinmin, even though i see some negative externalities in SLAB, i still agrees with t to a larger extent and i will definitely play my part, and more impt i will make sure it doesnt go the wrong way, the way which i am fearing now. xinmin here i come!

ok to end off my post, im now lost for words, so i'll use lyrics to expressed my feelings right now, as usual, and at the end i wanna share this little game i played a few days ago, koped from hongyou's blog, its quite funny, so sayonara for now! work hard for promos ppl and may you see me in JC2 next year!



RULES:
1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
-----

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
一个人 - 蔡依琳
(whose that person? lol)

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Cockney Girl - 王力宏
(i depend on my intuition and "feel" in relationships, so i have no preference...but cockney girls?? dun sound nice...too angmo lolx)

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
永远的第一天 - 王力宏
(somehow...i hope we can start anew everyday, and let bygones be bygones)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
歌手与模特 - 放大同
(lol yea being a singer has been my dream, but only a dream...model??? erm can i? lolx)

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
RUN 2008 - 信
(YAY!!! motto of all chinese worldwide! run to Beijing for the 2008 Olympics!!)

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
透视 - 罗志祥
(you think i can read ur thoughts? i do hope so but guessing has been my worst game)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
Tell Me - 潘玮柏
(lol i dun even know how i think of them seriously)

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
分开以后 - 唐禹哲
(i dun have to "think" about it anymore...)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BESTIE?
欲望把眼前的地板铺满 - 张悬
(omg so long name, and which i dunno the meaning...lemmi think, nonono i definitely dun lust for him, im straight! haha)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
迷失表参道 - 张敬轩
(yea i dunno whats going on in her mind, 她是我最想解答的问号)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Just When I Needed You Most - 潘玮柏
(true...)

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
好想你 - 王力宏
(nononono why would i ever want to lose anyone and start missing them? but i dun mind becoming someone like wangleehom? haha)

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Love Interlude - 放大同
(yay stop.relax.deep a deep breath.walk forth and let love enter our life! lol)

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
王八蛋 - 宋俣川
(LOLOLOLOLOL! bastard! and its my version somemore! ...maybe they really think im a bastard...*cant stop LOLing*)

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
你看得见钻石 - 欧得洋
(perfect! thats right man! i prefer to dance slow and the song is perfect, love is when you see the diamond in someone when nobody else can)

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
其实幸福很简单 - 张栋梁
(does that mean i will die in peace? or i will only find peace after i die?)

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
错了再错 - 张栋梁
(omg...so true, this year i've made so many mistakes that it seems that making mistake has became my hobby)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
不懂 - 林俊杰
(yea i fear not knowing stuff, but who dun? especially during exams haha)

i cant believe this, most of them really relevant to the truth about me...some really funny lol...like the one about how my parents think of me haha! but i think my itunes shuffle problem lor...cos no david tao songs hahax, maybe cos i played them too much liaoz.






i was tidying up junks under my computer table when i found this old cd which i recorded my very first album! i could still vividly rmb how i recorded songs when i just started singing: by playing KTV music on a speaker and placing my mic very very near it, and singing together with the music! haha those happy childhood memories. amongst the 10 songs in the CD i was surprised to see numerous david tao songs(can see how long since i listened to david tao) and even more shocking...jay chou rap songs! (i didnt know i could rap! cos i dun now) so i decided to post it and share my discovery with u!! guess what age i was when i sang these! hahaz and see if got difference (you might have to pause the main music box at the side)




september holidays is going to be over in less than 48 hours, which means my "study break" is going to end pretty soon. actually i nvr felt so eager to return to school, because now i have countless question i wanna ask my tutors, and numerous concepts i wanna make sure with them too, bcos this sepember holidays has been such a moral dampener for me. actually i spent most of my time sleeping, then the rest doing maths. im super-inefficient, cos i merely finished summation and going on functions when i was totally demoralized by how lousy i was, i really dun feel like studying anymore, its like im totally lost by myself, i hope someone will come and guide me along, im really not a independant learner i guess.

the SAJC notes are so unclear i wonder why did i even bother to read them, and the revision qns is so damn hard i wished i hadnt looked at them, bcos after i get stuck in it its hard for me to get outta it, then comes the solution part, so disorganized...some topics dun even have solutions! come on plz spare a slacker like me some thought, do u think i can do the questions without seeing the worked solutions? i dunno if its possible for my tutor to go thru every single qns in the revision...cos i really dunno a single shit!

makes me miss my maths teachers back in xinmin, its not me wanting to see them...its they come chasing me with a butcher knife, screaming and yelling at me to do my work...lol...it might be crude but it works for a slacker like me, i need constant supervision and yelling from authorities to catch up with work. but honeymoon time is over and im all left by myself...i'll have to either adapt or extinct.

my progress is really very very slow compared to my friends, but i cant help it, things are getting so tough and distractions are becoming more and more attractive...hahaz...

mathematical induction! what a nightmare for me (dont laugh, im dumb ok?) i decided that im too fed up with maths so i started to play with my phone...i really like doze off every 5 min of doing maths? thats like a habit thru so many yrs, its very hard for me to conc on maths, my brain just turns to sleep mode when i see digits..hahaz, but when i do conc on maths, i cant sleep until i solve a really difficult qns(which is any qns for me now) and i cannot conc only on maths, theres still physics, my weakest subject, and econs which im also bottom of the class. i really dun dare to think about retaintion, its haunting me everyday, and yet im doing nth abt it, now im suspose to like mug like a dog right? lol but i am not doing that? whats wrong with me man, do i really want to retain? i need to save myself right now! my standard for myself really dropped drastically, last time im aiming for A1s, now? merely getting 50 marks to achieve a D, and 3 Ds will allow me to promote...what the hell la...why im asking so little from myself now...izzit really reality that i cant do any better? izzit true like what mr lim said, its impossible to get a U in CT and suddenly jump to an A? i really want to say NO! but my brain is telling me "its true"...
this is my table, the table which accompanied me thru the years of studying, since PSLE days till olvls period, and i guess its going to go thru Alvls with me too! infront of the table is all my motivations to study, hahaz...thru the yrs many things have been added in, my SLB photos during sec 2, the "all the best" clip given to me by mrs song during sec 3 end of year, during olvls period there hanged all my goals and the NJ poster, now whats left are some additions of things i cherish much, and of cos my CT progress record and MIT poster! hahaz whats missing in this picture? ME lying flat on the table and snoozing ZZZzzzz....lolz

sometimes i just wanna SLACK! i really stopped using my brains for too long liaoz, now like the gears inside all abit rusty, i cant study for too long without getting distracted. but i still feel lucky to have my guitar to accompany me during my study, so occasionally i could pick it up and play my favourite tunes. currently most played songs are david tao's Katrina and Regular Friends and Catherine...hahaz and of cos practising my bending thru stephanie sun's 一样的夏天.

the sad thing is theres not much good music these days. with david tao gone to film his movie, theres practically nth much to look forward to in the music industry this year and maybe next year too. just got a few new album, including Farenheit's 终极一家EP and 范玮琪-哲学家, also looked out for old albums which i missed, like the complete album of TANK's Fighting生存之道, and 曹格's 格格blue and Superman, even though there are nice songs, but nth of those which will make me "wow!", except maybe one song by tank, which i will talk about later. but wilber pan is coming out his new album on 14/9!! thats something to look forward to, i've already heard one of the songs, i should say even though wilber cant really sing that well, but his some of his songs are really well composed, i meant slow songs like 谢谢，我不怕，我让你走了, Kiss Night...etc i got to hear these songs by watching his concert, really not bad and touching, relevant to me too! hahaz. currently the songs i listen to are mostly "oldies" like wang leehom, 张震岳, 南拳妈妈's new album is also not bad! and of cos david tao! u can really nvr get sick of them, everytime i listen i always have a different feeling, 有一种不一样的感动, i somehow will understand the song in another way. fav TAOism songs right now are 说走就走, 再见以前先说再见, 不爱 and special mention: 追, the lyrics really have deep meanings...你就是我最想解答的问号...

ok enough about music. this holiday quite eventless, except monday went back to school to play bball and attend randy's make-up lesson, then went to subway for lunch. then thursday went to grace house for PW and saw royston's friend Aaron. i really love the HUDC, condo facilities, HDB price! totally awesome! PW is crap, we decided to take waway all our activities and design a new one, hopefully its better this way...

different people have different type of problems, sometimes its really difficult to understand one another, so i believe its near impossible to empathize with someone, u can say "i know" but do u really know? not unless you are really in the exact situation. when communication is closed by force, its is even more difficult for friends to care for each other, then we can only resort to guessing. o and my luck is getting better these days, my guess are becoming more accurate! maybe its true that times and different, people change and ur friends changes too. but izzit the time that changes you, or u who chooses to let time change you? personally thru my short experience in life of 17 years, i have changed the way i think about things and do things as i gain more insights about life, but somethings remain unchanged, like the way i treat my friends with utmost trust and loyalty. i sometimes wonder why so many ppl write on their blog: i hate backstabbers, are there really so many backstabbers out there? i dunno bcos i cannot imagine myself doing that to my frends, i think i am very truthful to friends and i do not hide my feelings, ms tee also said that im "naked" infront of ppl, which could both be good and bad, but thats me i guess...but i do have two sides of personality though, and it changes constantly lolz...but no matter what i still bring about the truest me at this moment to everyone, its just difficult for me to hide my true feelings...i do hope my friends too can take out the masks they are wearing, if they are, and face one another with their truest heart, this way this world will be less scary to live in.

lastly im gng to intro a song by tank! its called 几分之几. its getting late and my eyelids are getting heavier and heavier, so i shall let this song speak my mind,even though not everything is relevant to my thoughts, that also make it more difficult for u to guess what im thinking! haha but its really a very touching song, i'm loving it!! LOL, like always...if u can decipher its true meanings...it means we have the same frequency!

几分之几
歌手：tank 专辑：生存之道

我知道爱曾经被你和我闹得像发了烧

怪不得承诺还没过期就失效

这样也好

一路太精彩结局不该逊掉

虽然我们都因此睡不着

我知道你不敢看我脸上那个勉强的笑

因为你能看穿我厚重的礼貌

咖啡的味道不需要品尝我就能够明了

没有加糖一整个苦到脚

后来我有没有出现过你梦里

我们是彼此回忆的几分之几

如果说很想你

代表说遗憾占据太多比例

我应该常提醒自己

寂寞很轻

我知道你也会向朋友们探听我的消息

就好像我总好奇现在谁陪你

留点距离默默的关心却那么像逃避

面对过去我们没有勇气

welcome to my blog! u are not here by chance, and u are definitely not reading it by chance. Fate brought us together! 4 hunks of 07s17 decided to camwhore on wednesday, after econs lecture. actually the plan was to get jerico a birthday present, so we decided to take a picture and purchase a photo frame. The photo turned out great, Ivan's really a superb photographer, the background and the positioning is just perfect, and its not taken by chance! from left: shawn(spiderman), guojun(GEE-JAY), jerico(COCOcrunch) and yours truly.

the past week is super slack, shold i say...the best week so far in term of slackness, monday to wed is totally sports days, monday had physics test, which i passed(like finally!), then no GP, so we ended at 2 to prepare for econs test, but the whole day we were like playing basketball totally, so till 5.30 i was like ZZZzzzzz, wonder how much i will get for econs...
tuesday also slack, after econs thought mr lim not in sch, so we played more bball, until we pon ME! haha PE whole day until PW and H1, then went home at 2
wed more slack, no physics, so i went to school for 2 lesson only, maths and econs lect, after that i went home alone at 12.30 cos the rest got chinese
thursday more eventful, but mostly lecture, mr randy didnt have lesson cos he wanted us to have a break, then my afternoon H1 lesson cancelled, so ended school at 2.30 then went to TP to buy jerico's photo frame

friday was THE DAY. sajc's teachers day celebrating was nice, ACES day dance GJ got to have close distance with n, lol but too bad it didnt last long. during the concert witness many hidden talents in sajc, so many good singers, comparing myself to them...i know why i didnt make it thru CSS. the choir's song were superb, i love accapellas, david tao's is still the best. then the dance was shiok, both the dancers and SC, jerico was having a time of his life up on stage sia....while we drool below! haha no la jkjk

XINMIN HERE I COME! was what i shouting as i left the CC with shawn and GJ. i just couldnt contain my excitement about returning to my second home. met u with elson and anthony as we walked towards the bus stop, elson is still as lame as ever, and thanks to his hairstyling in the toilet, we missd out bus and waited for almost 30 min. lucky we met some NY peeps on that later bus, my cassandra mei, karen, jamie, felicia, jasper and perry to be exact haha.crap our way to school. when we reach xinmin, many ppl was already there, mostly those who pon-ed school, and the hall entrance was congested, ben and roy was already there when i reach, they said the program was boring, so we didnt watch. can see mostly TJ and NYJC flood xinmin that day, the program in the hall was very long so we used that time to chit chat with my long lost friends, asking them about their life so far. after that we swarmed into the staff room and one by one we visited our teachers. mr pah, mrs song, ms tee, ms phan, ms low, ms sun ,mr tang, mdm gwee, mr huang, mr yeo and of cos my good friends, DM mr singh, and he's an old saint himself! first thing the chinese departure said when they saw me was to give my more task to do, haha, ms tee ask me to perform with her next yr, ms sun ask me perform next week, and i ask ms low to allow me go back xinmin teach chinese after alevels. i really love to contribute my part for xinmin, no matter what, its very small compared to what xinmin has done for me. after that roy and i went to science staff room to look for mrs raj, mrs tao and mrs peh, but only saw mrs teo, i miss mrs peh dearly! havent seen her this yr yet. then i went to xinmin primary school to find my primary school teacher, yea my primary school PARRY is closed down, but my teacher transferred to xinmin, but after going in 3 times, i was told she left liaoz...sianzz. so i went back home and slacked with roy till around 4. thats how the day ended, maybe abit sianz at the end but fulfilling.

today i watched yet another meaningful movie, called Evan Almighty. it revolved around the christian faith and bible very much, but i understood it from my old point of view, and maybe bcos im exposed to christianity so much in sajc, im able to understand the movie more. im gng to go straight to the point, i know many ppl havent watch this movie but wanna watch it, so i shant tell ya whats happening in it. this was the phrase which touched me and enlightened me most: