this was what i saw yesterday noon, yes! its a RAINBOW around the sun! COOL right?! on my way to randy's GP class, elson came and show me a picture he took of the same view, and said "there's a rainbow around the sun!" and i was like "huh?" rainbow round the sun? i've nvr seen or heard abt it b4! omg it just goes to show how sua ku am i LOL i was telling everyone in class abt it and soon many ppl were gather at the fourth floor to view the sun. some of us were circling round and round the corridor to get a good view, apparently this view in my pic can only be seen from one angle, if u look at other angle u wouldnt be able to see the rainbow at all. BEAUTIFUL...yet painful, my eyes hurts when i look directly at the sun! haha then i asked shawn, who was a geo student, why a rainbow will form around the sun, but he cant answer me! lol i just wonder whats installed at the other side of the rainbow, is it a paradise? my other eden? will my angel be there waiting for me? lol dreaming away~~~Angel~~~Angel~~~I want 你在我身边~~~

havent been blogging about my life for awhile. nth much to say also, cos life is boring nowadays, i've been gng home at 1pm for most days and sleeping thru out the afternoons. studies is still crap, havent been doing much to catch up, really worried about promos. like what mr randy said, we are constantly living in fear all our life, but i do think fear is what make us succeed. been doing some PW lately, our WR 2nd draft was out yesterday!! i feel so proud to see the thick stack of WR in front of me, its like my newborn baby...lol seems like all the hard work is worthwhile, im so excited about our activities, esp my parts! haha!

im very very very broke these few weeks, cos my allowance is being used up too soon, i dunno how the hell i spend all the $$ la, i was like left with $20 to survive for 15 days!! so if u notice, i've been bringing cup noodles to school to eat during breaks and drinking plain water...all for saving money so i wouldnt die! total hell...now i really got a feel of how it feels like to be poor, really poor...my next allowance will come only on september, so i have to survive another week of budget lunches. lucky i went to find my old piggy bank and digged out $9!! heaven's on my side this time...like finally

my mother has gone to HONGKONG!! envious man, i really wanna visit hongkong, its such a happening place, gives me alot of feelings, my mum went there to reunion with her old classmates, leaving my aunt and brother with me, finally the house has quieten down, its really good to enjoy a few days of serenity and peace. but i really wanna go hongkong! maybe i shall discuss with my parents and visit it myself end of this year, think gng there from china is cheaper.

last weekend met up with eeyen at city hall for dinner and chilling, really great to see him again had an enjoyable time at SUBWAY eating and chatting away. also got jingnan's letter and stuff and received my belated bday present, haha eeyen gave me exactly what i wanted to buy! after that i proposed a walk along marina bay, then we realize there were more and more ppl as we walked towards the floating platform, then we were told there was fireworks that night, think thousands of ppl crowded the area around the floating platform ba. we got into ritz carlton hotal to view the fireworks, frankly i must say ritz carlton is not very amazing, not as amazing as i thought. but who cares? haha we're there to view the fireworks!

we also realize there many cool cars parked outside the hotel, the interesting thing is...the higher to climb to the hotel, the better the car gets! haha we saw ex car like lambogini, ferrari, rolls royce, and aston martin!!! eeyen and i acted like country pumpkins who nvr seen a good car in our life, and started taking photo with the aston martin! then suddenly the owner of the car came then we were super malu la...

the way back to mrt was total hell, we left the same time the fireworks ended, so u can imagine, the entire city link was filled with people, moving one step per 2 seconds liddat...ganna squeezed and stuffed to death...but it was really enjoyable time spent, catching up with eeyen, hopefully i can see more ppl soon, im really missing everyone these days.

im really missing many things these days. i miss OG27!! not only those that left for other schools, but also our "native" OG27 peeps! havent been catching up with each other for a long time. im proposing next year jan 3rd to be our OG 27 day, since its our first anniversary! sounds fun eh? of cos im also missing fellow 405 peeps and xinmin teachers, cant wait for 31st aug, maybe i shall pon school that day and join my beloved xinmin in our teacher's day celebration. after coming to jc i really understood who are the real saints, they are my xinmin teachers! they are the ones who truly can be called saints, or angels etc i miss table tennis too, since training stopped i havent touched my racket for almost 2 mths, wonder if algaes grow on it already not, must jio yonghou back to xinmin and sweat it out one day soon.

i shall end here now, cant think of other things to write about my unhappening life, maybe this is the fate of jc students, no fun, no life?? lol but im still better off then many other ppl, my results says everything, it time to really start to focus and catch up, everyone is doing that, i cannot become stagnant. 学习如逆水行舟，不进则退。

not forgetting...hongyou tagged me! haha so im susposed to write out 10 not-known facts or weird things about myself...erm hard to think of 10 but i'll try...here it is:

1)i dun like songs sang by female singers, most of the songs in my ipod are from male artist, i dunno why also...maybe cos female key too high for me to sing along?

2)my origin is quite complex, my family line originated from northern part of china, the town which 包青天 lived in, then my family moved to southern part due to cultural revolution. Before that my family were landlords. i was borned in xiamen, brought to quanzhou as a baby, grew up in shaowu, went to fuzhou, studied in back in xiamen then came to singapore. so im like north-south mixed...lol

3)like many ppl, i also participated in many activities when i was young, i learnt drawing in china, dance and wushu during kindergarden, and primary school the time i was in scouts, chinese painting, multimedia club, robotics club, prefectorial board and choir.

4)despite learning so many stuff, i didnt learn what was most convinient for me, as in i didnt learn any skills from my family, when my grandfather was a strategist for the army and superb in chinese calligraphy, my grandmother was a geo teacher, my father is a designer, my mother is a chinese musician and performer, my aunt is a chinese teacher and my uncle is a IT wiz.

5)i have only read one complete chinese novel in my life, and its 射雕英雄传 by 金庸. and the only english books i finished reading are harry potters...i just dun like reading that much...haha

6)i eat the most in my family yet i am the slimest.

7)i dun really like ball games which requires the use of legs, like soccer.

8)i stab myself with a knife before.

9)i underwent 2 operations when i was in china. i use to have 大舌头, or difficulty in speaking clearly.

10)things in my dreams come true! i dunno how to explain, many times i will dream of an short image of me doing something at somewhere, then a few weeks or even a few mths later it really happened! but unfortunately, i only rmb that i dreamt abt it when it happened, meaning i cannot rmb the dreams that will come true, so i cant predict the future...but there was once i dreamt of myself doing an exam, and one week later the qns in my real exam were exactly the same as what i dreamt! lol hope i didnt confuse you

kkz thats all, i cannot think of much weird or unknown stuff about me actually, all these 10 are forced out, some may be quite lame la haha pardon me! well im not gng to tag anyone, but if u find it fun, write about urself in ur blog! lol but for now...so long!

i'm not going to become emo this time round, after flooding my blog with emo-ism, haha i think its high time i change my direction. But i'm still going to talk about life, with my newfound wisdom about the world around us.

Watched a very meaningful movie this week, its called the Truman Show(see above) i have to give credit to mr randy for introducing us the movie, and the AP students who strongly recommended it to me, the title also got the interest of most of my classmates, everyone is so eager to watch it. And that understandable, bcos its really a fantastic movie, unique in its way, and provided alot of insights into our world today. It set me thinking about the life i led, and the society i live in, and made me see life in a different way.

truman burbank seemed to be an average working adult, with a wife and stable job. he has lived in the island of Seahaven his entire life. His childhood memory of losing his father during a storm out in the sea caused him to be hydrophobia and cannot travel above water. His life is just like any average person, he attended school, got into college and got a job as an insurance agent. Until one day, the radio of his car was spoiled and he began to receive something like sounds like police intercomm conversations, but this was different, it described exactly where he was, where he was going. The imba part was, there was a high pitch disturbance in the intercomm system and everyone, yes everyone, including vehicle drivers, jerked and paused movement on the busy street together! So truman begin to get suspicious, he began to feel as if the entire world is spinning around him, so he set out on an attempt to leave the island of Seahaven and explore the world outside, but faced greatly difficulties. But he perservered and hit for the open sea, braved the storm and reach the "end of the world", which was a wall painted with the colour of the sky, then he understood what has been going on his entire life.

it turned out that truman was an unwanted baby, adopted by the film crew to shoot a reality show of how a baby grows right from the womb, but it became so popular that it developed into a 24/7 nonstop LIVE broadcast of truman's life. The island of Seahaven is actually a man-made island inside a gigantic studio which could be seen on the moon. Everything in truman's world is man-made, everyone in his world are actually actors, including his parents, wife and lifelong best friend. His life was also pre-planned according to the director, to stop him from the thought of travelling out of Seahaven, he was taught from young about the difficulties and impossible-ness of exploring, television also only encouraged him to stayhome, travel agencies only had posters to discourage ppl to travel, and to stop him from going near the sea, the fil crew "designed" his father's death during a storm to create his hydrophobic syndrom. Even though Truman is a world popular character, his life is opened to everybody without his knowledge, and he has no control of his life, so we can say that he lived in a prison.

some quotes from the director of the film had deep meanings. "humans believe, without questioning, what is presented to them." this was his reply to people questioning about whether truman will run away. He was so sure that truman wouldnt bcos he believed humans accept the world it is presented to them, without stopping to question its genuienity. That is very true, many of the time u and i, we just accepts everything we're told, why should we study? why must be do well for olvls? why must be entering JC? why are we made to study all these crap in school? why are we.....etc everyone leads a similar life in today's society, we followed the "rules of thumb" of society. How do you know dy/dx of x is 1? bcos the textbooks say so! how do you know the taliban;s kidnapped the korean volunteers? bcos the media tells us so! but can books and media ever be relied on to tell the truth? in truman's world, it cannot. but how can 100% confirm that everything we are told today are the truth?

b4 truman stepped out of the studio and into the real world, the director made one last attempt to retrieve him. he talked to him using the speakers from the sky and it somewhat presented him like the creator or God-like being. Its like the God talking to his children. he told truman,"there is no less lies in the world outside then the world i've created for you! the world outside in dangerous, in my world, we have nothing to fear, becos i've created a perfect world for u!" and truthfully, is our world really free of lies as compared to truman's manmade world? At least in truman's world we know everything is fake, but in the real world we hardly can differentiate the truth from the lies. As they director watched truman left, the image of God watching Adam and Eve leave his garden of paradise, a world HE created for them. Yet God did not tell them the Truth, it is due to Adam and Eve's own initiative that they got to know the Truth. So what different has the director to God? of cos theres difference, but in terms of creating a world, ideal world for a human to live, the movie has somewhat adapted some ideas from the Bible.

Truman Show showed me how naive we humans can be sometimes, easily believing and has no control of our life. But truman also showed me how powerful an individual like us can be, we need to give in to fate or destiny, as long as we have a strong determination and will power, we can overcome anything. Like how Adam and Eve walked away from the garden of God. Like how truman braved the storm out in the sea, the director created a killer storm for truman and was sure that he will be afraid of the storm and head back, but truman was no intimidated by it and finally reached the EXIT, after being totally tortured during the storm. In life sometimes we really feel powerless infront of fate, we desire so much to do something, to achieve somethings, but we just doesnt seem to get what we want. just like me, desired so much to go NJ, but no matter what i did fate still played a trick on me. I tried to many things this year, CSS, performances, Work Shadowing...i really wanted to succeed, to turn away from all my failures, but time and time again im being defeated. Before i watched the truman show, i really hated the life im living, truthfully i really blamed life for being so unfair to me, being so cruel to me, not giving what i wanted, and i really wanted to resign to fate and stopping working towards more goals. I really though hey, this year is just not my year man...nth seem to happen the way i want it to, so just give up and stop trying yc! but now, im convinced, that i have not failed at all in my life, becos i've being always working towards my goals, but if i give up trying and working, thats when i really failed! so i learnt that all the setbacks i faced doesnt mean i failed, i just havent succed yet, and to succeed to cannot give up, giving up then is considering a failure. Learn from Truman! Brave the storm!

i also had a very funny thought, what if thw world i lived in is the same as truman's? what if everything im using now are just props, and my every move is being recorded using pin-hole camera, and everyone around me are merely actors and my life is just like a variety show? all my friends, family...are they real? or i merely accepted their reality bcos im told im the son of my parents and i believe my friends are truthful friends?what if everything in my life is out of my control, what am i gng to do about it? in the show truman's lifelong best friend turned out to be another actor who has been on the show since the age of 7, and his wife is merely acting out everything. What if my brothers are just actors? and my loved ones are not for real? haha i will nvr get the answers to those qns right now, it seems so insane to ask all those stupid questions. BUT one thing i learnt is for real, like the old saying goes, "life is like a show, a show is like a life." very true, our life is like drama, the difference is we have no NGs and retakes. from the moment we are born, we are given a mission to complete our life story, how you want ur life to turn depends on u, u are the director of ur own life story. Theres no retakes, whatever u do will not be able to undone, so all mistakes we make in our life has to be recorrect one day. Everyone around us is a actor, playing the role of himself or herself, sometime we have multiple roles, being a brother, being a student, being a sportsman etc some people flourish with the varity of life, some people are unable to juggle so many roles. We teenagers have many roles to play in our life, many of us already tired of our life, or questioning about our existence, i do get tired of life, i always question why i am in this world. my answer for now is life isnt life without tireness, and im in this world for many reasons, im here becos of love, so im here to love, and im suspose to leave this place with more love. If your life was a movie, will it make a good one? the choice is yours. be brave and perservere, up and on!

special thanks to truman burbank...for enlightening me at the lowest point of my life.

国庆节到了！终于等到放长假的时候，可以好好休息一下，可惜的的是。。。我生病了！又失声了。。。海。。我就是如此背，一道象唱歌的时候声音就不好使。今天晚上终于可以和失散多时的405老同学见面了，KTV-ing!! 可是我现在连说话都有问题，更别说唱歌了。可是重点不在唱歌，而在于玩的开心，尽兴，难得那么多好朋友能以齐聚在一起，我怎能因为一点小病就推辞呢？，再说。。。这次的聚会可是我策划的诶！真得很期待今晚，让我们回到过去！

这几天脑袋里萌生了许多新的想法，也有些许感悟。老爸前几天更从中国回来，可是这一次是为了生意，也带了我们公司的一名designer,所以暂住旅馆。昨晚，也就是刚刚过去的3小时里，不是很顺利，一回家老妈就在喊我晚回家，又和我老爸投诉，老爸有何我喋喋不休的念啊念啊。。。我快要疯了。长辈们说的道理我全都明白，我不是叛逆，只是有自己做事的原则，传统的思想不是不好，可是我认为有改善的空间，我们不能食古不化。近来心情一直处于低潮状态，我承认生命中种种的挫折的确让我觉得力不从心，不知所措。我真的累了，好累，只想好好的休息一下。爸妈的唠叨的确加深了我的不快，可我能够理解他们的初衷，所以我一直心平气和的和他们说道理，虽然老妈从来都是不讲理的，可我都习惯了，家和万事兴，我只希望在家得到我应有的安宁。

这个世界太吵了，真得太吵了，无聊的噪音，逆耳的声音，不搭的频率，真得太吵了。现在的我只渴望一瞬间的宁静，哪怕只是那一瞬间，让我好好宁听你的声音，世界最美妙的旋律，让我暂时跑调烦恼，专心感受生命的美好，就是那一瞬间，哪怕是一瞬间，也足够了。你是我心中的一首歌。

我真的好累，不论是精神上还是肉体上，我从没如此累过，有时候真的想时间停止，夜晚长存，明天永远不会到来，让我永远沉睡，永远沉浸在美妙的梦境里，那是多么美妙。可是现实往往和我们唱反调，我们不管多累都还是要勇敢地走下去，我不能停止脚步，因为我有必须成功的责任，我有对自己的承诺，所以不管多累多苦，我还是会继续走下去，希望有苦尽甘来的那一天。会有那么一天吗？

生命中有很多值得珍惜的事物，它们是我的动力，不断给我走下去的意义，虽然很渺小，可是我与我来说他们就是生命的源泉。从家人，朋友到乒乓，音乐。。。它们是我存在的理由。不管外人对我多么歧视，家人永远是我们稳固的靠山。不管生活上有多少烦恼，我们朋友之间都会把自己变成垃圾桶，为朋友分忧。不管日子过得又多么无聊乏味，至少我还有乒乓球这个爱好，能消磨时间。不管外面的世界有多么吵杂，只要有陶喆的音乐就能让我陶醉。我发现生命其实像一场梦，很短暂却美妙，我们能决定自己的命运，让我们获得快乐。快乐来自爱。而爱，很简单。

不想多说了，现在的心情一部分都写在陶喆的歌词里，如果你看得出来我想说的话，那么算你和我有缘咯！哈哈，我的生命力真的不能没有音乐，很位只有音乐是最安全的，只有音乐是不会离我们而去的。这首歌叫i'm ok...

Sorry 我不在 请在beep声后留言
我正在寂寞的超级市场找着生力面
你永远不会回来 我的日记变空白
希望有一天我会ok 希望有一天我会ok

不要忘了留姓名 电话和其他事情
不要说的太快免得我没写下你大名
或许你不再打来 我却等到头发白
希望有一天你会打来 希望电话那一天会ok

你call进来 可是电话忙线 说不出来
痛苦藏在里面 耐心等待 可是还是忙线
没有讯号 联络不到 现在你给我的爱我收不到

看到答录机上面 有着十几通留言
可是发现每一个都只是挂断的声音
我没回答的机会 或许你等的好累
多少电话线也找你不回 多少电话线也找你不回

还有很多事我还想对你说 要用什么方法能跟你联络
请你留一个号码让我拨 听了你的声音我才ok
最近我的心情很不ok

我最近过得不错，真的很ok的。我并不孤独，因为我身边有家人朋友和音乐的陪伴。音乐真的是能够寄托一个人的心情，通过一个人听的歌，唱的歌，我们能看出他的心情，他想说的话，和他思念的人事物。。。你是否能了解我现在的心情？是否能了解我的痛？是否能了解我的快乐？是否能有所感动？当你，听见，我的歌。。。