think roystons and i really always have same frequency....
yes it MINUTES TO MIDNIGHT, actually maybe it'll be midnights past midnight when i finish writing, leaving for shanghai in a few hour time, actually should just go and sleep, but so many things happened today that i feel i need something to relieve myself of all the stress and troubles circulating in the air around me. and i'll be away for 7 days, so all the more i should write something! so entertain the visitors during my absence XD

today is last day of school but i dun feel any excitment, in the previous post i said this afternoon is delicated exclusively to royston, because tmr is his bday! but as i said sometimes things dun go as planned...due to the lack of participation from the rest of peeps, we decided to call the celebration off and postpone it to a date where more people can make it. For there goes my great afternoon x_x, went to BnJ at Vivocity with some of my classmates, saw Kelvin scooping ice-cream XD so i asked him to give extra BIG scoops of BnJs =D i think he gave me 3oz scoop when i'm suspose to get only 2oz...haha shall ask him give me 4oz next time =) but yea after that half of them went for sports club, then the other half of us left home. Napped till 7.30pm played on the guitar all the way till this moment...imagine me hugging the guitar infront of the comp XD

planned out the og27 outing on 1st of june, partyworld early bird package at orchard XD cant wait to get back from shanghai and see my dear og mate! hope everyone will enjoy themselve on that day =)

made yet another grave mistake today...dunno what gotten into me again, just suddenly felt very irritated and stop thinking about other people's feeling, start to say things abruptly and thoughtlessly...but its not what i meant...hope this type of thing will not happen again, never again man yuchuan! if not i will bang your head on the wall!!! 7 days of cool down period...hope things will get back on track when i come back, it really didnt meant things to turn out the way it did....but again who else can i blame except myself? its time to undo the wrongdoings i did, hopefully there's enough time...

no high hopes for shanghai trip now...just hope nothing bad will happen and i get become more bonded with my team, gotta try to visit my uncle and his new office, hadnt been back in shanghai for 1 and half years liao. i just take this trip as a breather for me, a time for me to leave this place and think about the happenings in my life so far, all the breakthroughs and experiences i gained, all those things i've said, things i have heard, and think about how things should go on in the future. hopefully by the time i come back, i will be refreshed, motivated and feeling anew, with new-found energy to pursue on my passion, and more perserverence to hold on to my decision, and ultimately, become a better person all-round, like the beijing last time, but i hope to do that in the easy way, not the hard way.

ok i shall end here *yawns* im leaving my comp, leaving my room, leaving my hse, leaving singapore...for 6 days...hope everyone will have a great holiday! use this time to take a break and enjoy ur life! and hope alls well ends well =)

waiting for u at the end of the road
wake me up when november ends




这个周末我决定将时间完全给予华文阅读与理解(GSC), 星期一就要交一篇2500字的论文，题目是《中国威胁论》。当你看到这题目，第一个反映是否是O_O？ 哈哈！如果是的话，那庆幸你没选读GSC XD 今年底就要走进考场迎接A水准的第一战，心中喜忧参半，随着年中的来临，又倍感焦急，不知所措。。。可是人生有几次完全准备的战斗？既然我决定用一年的时间打两年的战，就必须对自己负责，考一个A回来，这样才不会辜负老师的期望，更重要的，不辜负自己对自己的要求。

这个星期一如往常，生活绕着一个“忙”旋转，脚步不断挣扎地和时间赛跑，匆忙间我仿佛感觉自己迷失了自我，失去了生活的方向，就像一个断了绳的风筝，任凭狂风左右去向，不由自主。可是我也很纳闷，我如此的忙碌，如此的疲劳，可是我还是无法完成功课，无法考到好成绩，我的时间到底用到哪里去了？我的精力都花在了什么事情上？我似乎将没有把精力完全投入学业上，反之，我好像都在做些蹉跎的事情，浪费青春。光阴似箭，岁月如梭，我必须马上打起精神来，失去的时光已无法挽回，可未来的光阴还能够珍奇。过去的犯错误已无法改正，可未来的承诺值得我继续等待。现在我必须先把成绩搞好，完成学生的本分，年底才能开心地面对我等待的结果。

这个星期一如往常，依然是那么的冷漠，依然是那么寡语，依然在逃避，依然将心灵之门紧闭。可是我不伤心，也不感失落，因为我相信。看到在人群中的笑脸，我的心也跟着萌生一丝暖意，只要一个眼神，我就能长征。我知道我们都有压力，应该专心学业，不应该胡思乱想，一切让时间开口，所以我不想多说，也不敢多想，只能默默地在身边守候，等待开花结果的那一天。可请不要故意避开我，不要故意对我冷漠，请自然的面对我，我就很满足了。你总说我想太多，你真的最懂我，现在的我或许又想太多了，请原谅我的愚昧，原谅我的幼稚，但我真的希望在漫长的路上感到一点暖意。

这个星期一如往常，找不到生活的动力，对任何事物都不感兴趣，做任何事情都找不到干劲，生命好比程序，不断的重复单一的任务。我渴望和朋友们打成一片，玩乐嬉戏，享受朋友的可贵，可是当同学们约我出去时，我却毅然退却，这一举动令我百思不解，我仿佛在自我矛盾。可能是因为我过于期待和理想的人共度时光，所以对其他人的邀请不以为然，可理想的人们在哪里？我不知道，所以我一个人重返寂寞，单独度过凄凉的午后。生活不该是如此，人生其实很短暂，不过几十年，我快20岁了，那么表示我已过完了大概1/5的生命，可我得到了什么？成就了什么？认识了什么？感悟了什么？我想如何面对4/5的生命路？我们活着就是要享受生命的可贵，珍惜身边的人事物。 生命不是上课， 做功课，考试。。。。也不是一切都让父母牵着鼻子走，我们已17岁了，已拥有独立思考的头脑，应该自己决定自己的人生。当然，我们还不够成熟，不能确定自己的决定是否正确，可谁不会做出错误的选择？人就是在错误中成熟的，如果不敢于为自己的信念当机立断，不敢于追随梦想，活到80岁还是幼稚的。我想说的是，我们不应该被外来因素影响我们的思维，影响我们的生活，我们应当坦然面对自己所要的，勇敢朝着目标前进。整天埋头苦干，熬夜啃书，不是我要的生活，我相信读书有捷径，有方法，一味的横冲直撞是永远得不到真正的智慧的。

下个星期不似往常，熬过接下来的5天，我们就能找到一点解脱，寻回一点自由，从新找回自我。我也即将飞往上海，和我的球队共度6天的异国生活。其实上海对我来说不算“异国”，毕竟是我的祖国，是我每年回去的地方，阿叔，婶婶他们都在那里，可我不知道能不能见到他们。我其实对这次的出游不感兴奋，可能是因为花了我$550，可能是因为我在队中已找不到归宿感，也可能是因为舍不得放弃6天与朋友碰面的机会。可既然决定要去了，就不要让金钱白费，要玩个痛快。 上次的北京让我学到了很多，我不希望在上海让历史重演，所以这次我决定要多多小心，注意言语，切忌辱莽，尽量和队友建立坚固的感情。不在的这6天，不知道有没有人会想我=P 可一件事是肯定的，我会无时无刻的想念。。。

下个星期不似寻常，26号是我们的“寿星”勇豪的生日！=D 可我26一大早就要去上海了，所以安排25号为他庆祝，圣安德烈当天12点就放学了，所以如果没有意外的话，星期五下午就完全属于勇豪，好久没有和老朋友们聚一聚，寒暄几句了，我已经等不及了！恨不得星期五马上就来临，我好希望那天的来临，当我可以占时放下包袱，痛快地做自己，回到过去的我，没有JC的压力，只有O水准后的愉快。没有胡思乱想，自我忧郁，只有真挚的友情，兄弟之间的义气。可人不能老活在过去，必须放眼未来，生命的每个阶段都有必须完成的事情，才能让生命丰富多彩，值得回味！

不管是一如往常，还是不似往常，生命总是有着许多无奈，也有着许多惊喜。喜怒哀乐都在一瞬间，要是我们不留神，可能永远都无法发现生命的美丽。加油吧！宋俣川！熬过这最后一个星期，不要想太多了，一切等你从上海回来再说吧！要相信你的选择，坚守你的选择，忠于你的选择，船到桥头自然直，所有的答案都会随着时间慢慢出现在你眼前的！记得自己的原始目标！




its weekend again x_x omg...time just passed us by like that, before a blink of an eye, all the time i thought i had was lost, all of a sudden, all the things i planned to accomplish were still left undone...time management!! whats wrong with me?? this week and last week i went home earlier then i usually did in the past, bcos of taking 147 =P but then i still feel like there's not much diff even though i have 1 hour more each day, i feel that im struggling even more to race against time then i used to, maybe its due to mental impressions ba.

royston sent me a demo track sang by TANK, called 忽然之间, and IT ROCKed totally!! the original singer is karen mok, but i think it was composed by TANK ba...thats why he sang it in this low quality demo track, but i prefered male voice, and this song really touched me alot, the lyrics...it became very relevant to my life this tuesday, but not really at the present=) thankfully. the lyrics is like sad and happy mixed...我明白太放不开你的爱， ...我想到了你，才想起自己， ...而现在就算时针都停摆，就算生命像尘埃，分不开，我们反而更相信爱, all these sentences almost brought my tears down at the start of the week, as i sang it repeatedly one night。 忽然之间，天昏地暗...was exactly how i felt x_X

ok la shouldnt wander around the happenings in the past, cos i've sorted out my thoughts already, so the rest of the week was feeling more comfortable, but somehow unnatural. this week did alot of talking with friends, esp during common breaks, sometimes abt deeper stuff, but most of the time is random crapping at the canteen XD so thats how i spent all the break, i planned to do some revision, but ended up talking =P cos its more fun chatting, much more fun.

now my mind is more settled, thinking about less stuff ( actually i think im not thinking less, just ignoring more ) everything is getting back to how it used to be, and it seem to be going on smoothly, i just hope everything is heading at the right direction. Many things i'm curious, many things im worried about too, but i'll just leave it as it is and no dig it out, i'll just wait till the answer come to me naturally ba, ignorance is a bliss sometimes =)

2 test next week, the the first one (physics) will be on monday, so this weekend is delicated to physics, even though econs and GP homework is as demanding, but yea there's a time for everything, i cannot multi-task so many things at once. studying mood is back to the "march april mood" last yr, my brain keep telling myself to study, but my heart just doesnt want to follow.

im so depressed to see some of my friends becoming so emo these days, keep developing negative thoughts, just like me at the start of term 2, but after i got thru my emo period, my friends are getting on my old paths and turning emo. maybe its bcos the stress from schoolwork is getting too heavy, and its getting harder to breath, or maybe there's too many things to bother about. being a person that got thru the emo period, i just wanna tell all the emo souls out there, do what u really want to do and not let external pressure and hesitation stop u from living a life u want! get out of all those negative thoughts, find happiness in the people around u, be delighted that no matter how bad u feel inside, there's always someone around to give u concern and care =) dun be blinded by all the sadness and worries, take one step back and look at the big picture, where is the broken piece of ur life puzzle? it is lying somewhere near u! for me, that missing piece lies in the hands of my loved one.

so many ppl are leaving my side, many ppl already left, and soon i' ll be left with only a handful of the closest ppl to me in sajc. sometimes i wished to return to the time when og27 just got to know each other, those honeymoon period was the best, everything on my mind was to enjoy myself, the joy of end of olvls, the joy of knowing so many friends, and i didnt have to think about olvl results, didnt have to be in despair becos of not getting into njc...but those good times are not to be anymore. wt eeyen kaling pat arun ajit etc....all these ppl made my PAE days so memorable, but they all went elsewhere to fight for a brighter future, sometimes i will think or dream about those times, and i'll always be smiling. now jingnan is leaving us, yuyang also, they are all embarking on a totally different route to success, and i wish them luck along the way, and since we are all travelling towards the same destination, i really hope we meet each other again at junctions or along the way. but to all my friends, u can use many methods to gain success, like u can use many method to achieve good grades, so dun get tied to one tree, if u have a dream, dun worry just go for it, but since u've made a choice, stick to it and dun feel regretful, its all part and parcel that makes up ur life story =)




omg its so late already...1.30am...actually not very la but im super tired, but had the urge to blog, thoughts seem to come more truthfully when my mind is in a sub-conscience state. Just came back from taking my scholarship money of $300! =D which will be put to good use XD was surprised to see two other xinminians there too, even though i werent very close to them =P and got to know this girl from HCI, who was from SCGS...and happened to know ryanna and janice!! haha her name is jingwen i think? if rA is reading this...tell me if u know her too =)

this week has been hell for me, for the rest too. everyone in class is tired and weary, everyone in school is as well. Maybe bcos tuesday was a holiday, so everything was crammed into the 4 days of the week, everyone was rejoiced by the fact that friday hopefully arrived, but the torture isnt over...there's simply not enough time to do everything we need to do. i cant believed labour day was only last tuesday, i felt i've gone throught 1 weeks of none stop work in mere 3 days! everyday was burdened with tons of work, and endless activities, had late dismissal everyday and had to report for CCA too. thank god friday finally came, and i was totally beat, walking like a zombie most of the time. Finally completed the PI my teacher was longing for ( cos i havent given him anything b4 ) and i stayed up all the way until 3 to complete, some of my classmates didnt sleep at all XD but i realized everything was worthwhile on friday, when i submitted all the things i need to submit...afternoon came and when the clocked ticked 3.30pm, i hurried to pack my bag and chiong right out of the GSC classroom, breathing in the fragrance of freedom, then i went to sit at the cafe, waiting to see if i'll see anyone, but after half hour no one i know came, and i was dozing off already, so i walked towards the sidegate, this was when i saw mandy and stephy sitting down at the popular seats, so i sat down and talk with them, later ryanna came and they left for sports club, i started chit chatting with ryanna, such a long time nvr really get to sit down and talk to a friend casually liao...everyone is so caught up in the vacuum of busyness that we had to no time to sit and reflect and talk. talked about schoolmates and classmates, ex-classmates and random thoughts, and i slip of my tongue resulted in my phone being raid by rA ( details not included ) time just past me by when i chit chat with ppl, we actually sat there for about 1hour just talking crap XD then when sports club ended the four of us walked out together...after a long day, finally alighted at serangoon and slept as 147 carried me slowly to home...

today the new exco of table tennis team was announced and it was totally occupied by DSA and appeal players, and i was exiled far away from the position of EXCO, i feel super injust at the moment because i dun think i'm being given a good leader to follow, or even good leaders. they are chosen only becos the formal exco was all marist and they were also from marist, and some of them was close with the marist, its so dark and underhand way of gaining leadership. i know im complaining like a fool, but this is my blog so i can say anything i want as long as i dun break the law right? so im not holding back anymore, i dunno if any of my teammates will read this, but sorry to my teammates, i still love u all and SATT, but i just cant stand keeping quiet after this type of thing is happening. captain and exco doesnt have to be the best player in the team, they also dun have to be the most popular or has the most connections, they have to be a good leader...and what makes a good leader? clear vision, serious attitute, committment, servant leadership, determination, disciplined, responsibility etc....i dun see that in the new excos. ok i no im being arrogant by saying this, but i will say it only here, in my blog, i definitely have more of those qualities then everyone in the exco! this sums up everything, my feeling of injustice? or u should call it jealousy? greediness? over-estimate of own self? proud? self-centered? whatever it might be, sorry that i offended my teammates, i just to say it out here. yet again its the formal excos that chose the new excos, so maybe i should say its their fault? stop it already, im making myself look ugly and mean, who knows? maybe the new excos have the ability to lead the team better than me? time will tell everything, and i have faith in my captain, i truly hope that given the responsibility, he will take more initiative and bring the team to greater heights. even though there's still this regret in my heart, i'll cover it all up with happiness i gain elsewhere, now i train not for anyone, not for any purpose, i train only becos of my undying passion for table tennis, i train bcos i love table tennis, im happy as long as there's a place for me to play my beloved game. other things are unimportant already, cos everything is settled, we have to move on...

our principal mrs lim showed us the university entry grades for the 2005 batch, and it was shocking, cos i didnt realize uni was so hard to get in, architect need at least a ABB, and medicine and other bio related stuff needs AAB or something liddat, there must be an A somewhere somehow x_X some ppl seem very demoralize by all those infomation, me? a little bit ba, haha cos im not that sensitive XD but im glad we were shown all those, now finally i get a clearer picture of what i need to achieve at the end of the two years...AAA(A)(A) its abit ambitious arh...but thats me, u can say i make unrealistic goals, but to me i work for an A, if not i dun work at all. dun worry if the infomations are too shocking though, its only our school, so it means that its not the minimal grade across singapore, the minimal grade to get in might be lower, but we shant think about the lowest person, we compare ourselvees to those better than us, thats how we improve. we will work hard together and achieve what we yearn for. Have been looking at the course handouts for NUS architecture course, quite interesting yet demanding, you will need 4+2 years to qualify as a registered architect, by then my hair all white liao X_X just imagine coming out of NS at 20 years old and entering the society at 26, and making my first million in 4 years time...quite hard to imagine arh...but it'll be done! bcos i have had enough of failure and hardship, my family have suffered enough torture and poverty, so im going to improve the living standard of my family and loved ones, the only way to do that...sadly...is by making lots of money.

talked enough liao...alot of crap and random stuff i talked about, some may be offensive and show an ugly side of myself, which i hate too, but throwing all those ugly thoughts out and reflecting upon it is sometimes the best way to become a better person on the whole =)