this week past so slowly...snail-pace i shall say...maybe bcos everyday is so packed that i couldnt breath. monday to wednesday 2am...my uncle and aunt came to visit me in singapore, together with them were 2 relatives of my aunt and 1 employee of my uncle...they've nvr been to singapore so took this opportunity to tour singapore. bcos of my stupid timetable and SUPER stupid table tennis training slots(4 times/12h a week!!) i couldnt bring them around personally, and my mother has to take the painstaking effort to tour them around singapore=[ my uncle bought a $5000 rolex watch=O and my aunt bought a brilliant cut diamond and 2 years worth of SK-II!!!!! crazy ppl lor...haha but cant help it....they're so rich=P
havent been doing tutorials at all and slacked through all the lectures and tutorials, think im gng to fail my test next week lor... but friday was super exciting!!!=D i went to crash NJC with ian!! that morning we pon school and took 74 to njc, but somehow we board the bus too late and was likely to be late, so on the bus we were so nervous lor...but the gd thing is we met goh chern(my sec sch senior, now in njc) on the same bus, so we chit chat and talked abt how to get past the morning assembly without getting caught during attendance taking. somehow lady luck was smiling on us that day, firstly our bus which was suppose to reach late, reach our destination 5 min earlier, so we managed to stroll in njc successfully, and secondly and most importantly, it rained!!!''''' so morning assembly was held in the hall which was obviously too small to fit the whole school population, so everything was so messy and we managed to get into the mess and got through the assembly!! after that we were perfectly safe, walked around the school, i bought the college pin and the super nice college shirt(its RED) ...attended their maths and econs lectures and ate at their canteen....their bubble tea is SUPER nice, best i've tried b4=D after an exciting morning at njc, i went back to my secondary school in the njc tshirt...and aiyo everyone thought i was in njc and i had to keep repeating that im in sajc but went to crash nj...i reached the school at around 2 and was expecting my classmates to be there liao, but it turned out that no one came!! and roy didnt reach until 4pm, so i waited for him for 2 hours...slacked in the student leaders room, the room that was once my second home...i was really glad to see that the SLR is much better furnished than b4, for once it looks more like a home than a storeroom...got to know some new changes in discipline in the school for this year, xinmin finnally allow white shoes!!! cos the school shoes is unbelievably lousy, total piece of crap...also watch some videos taken by my SLs during their activities, really pleased to see that the SLs are still v close and happy in the SLB. nevertheless i was also greatly disappointed to hear about some undesirable behaviours of some of the excos this year...but what can i do? its not up to me to care abt this organization that i onced loved so much...so i will let all the others care abt it, i no longer see any purpose in changing the board with my relinquished authority and influence. when roy came, we went up to the staff room and talked to mr pah, mrs wong, mrs koh, mr lee, mdm gwee, ms tee, ms low and not forgeting ms ang...talked the longest with ms low and crapped big deal with her =DD it seems that many teachers have left when we came, and mrs song and mrs peh was on maternity leave, when we were abt to leave, we saw mrs teo leaving school, she seemed to be on a rush so we didnt talk with her. After everything roy and i went to have dinner and roy slacked at my hse awhile b4 leaving for home.
i didnt went for training today, slept until 10 plus but still super sleepy, at 2 i went back to xinmin and was sent to mediacorp with 50 other juniors to film a new talk show by jack neo, called I Not Stupid. it is a talk show which discusses social issues, we students can voice our own views like a during a forum discussion. during the filming mr tang asked me to sit right in the middle=\ and i was suppose to take over the talking if none of our students dare to speak up...but it turned out that our xinmin students are quite responsive, they gave good personal viewpoints which i was very pleased to hear. there was a little incident during the discussion, jack neo asked ms phan abt her views on good students who are very proud and over-confident, and ms phan carelessly said my name out and talked abt the incidents that happened to me in sec 3 year, and it was super embarassing ok? but i didnt blame ms phan la cos what she said was very true and ms tee helped to save my reputation later, but when ms phan and ms tee was talking abt this incident, i somehow felt tears rolling in my eyes, bcos i thought of the situation at that time and the lesson i learnt from that incident. it was during our preparations for semi-finals of the national chinese debating competition, i had full confidence that i will be a starter for the game and i really wanted to get into the finals, so i was not eager to do my preparations cos i thought i was the best choice for the third speaker given my experience, but in the last minute my teacher switched me with another junior cos she found me too big-headed, it came as quite a blow to me, it was like a heartbreaker that made me very depressed...after that we lost the competiton to a school that was not better than us, and i had to pay full responsibility so the failure. after the competition my teacher sent me back to school, on the way she talked to me abt lots of stuff, and i got to understand the problems that has been pestering me. of cos i didnt understand everything right away, but today im confident to say that i understood at least 80% of it, recalling the me in the past, i really hav to slap myself hard, from sec 1 to sec 3, i've been a proud and arrogant person who thinks im too smart for everything, and was not careful with my words and other people's feelings, that caused me to have few friends and many enemies, actually i already had many warnings that something is wrong with me, being marked as fail during the SL trainees camp, being isolated by my classmates etc. but i didnt care to change myself, i always thought that others should change to suit me, i was damn wrong! in this world relationship only has 2 sides, you and they. "they" are the exterior factors that is not under ur control, so if you want to have a fruitful social life, you have to keep improving "you". its true that sometimes other ought to change for you, but that is up the other party to decide, so if u wanna survive in the society, you have to keep find ways to change yourself to suit others first, after becoming good friends, then you and they can change to suit each other. after the debating incident, it was followed by the beijing incident, where i totally understood the need to change myself for the better, and from sec3 june onwards, with the help of my few close friends, i manage to extend my social network and regain some friendships i've lost. i begin to understand that living in this world without friends is living in hell, and i understood that good friends wouldnt come to you, u hav to use ur sincerity and likable personality to make people feel comfortable with you. so i've definitely bcame a better person then b4 after going through 2 year plus of hell and 2 painful lessons, but the outcome of the painstaking effort is worth it, even though i cant say im popular now, but at least i know the basics of being a person suitable for this society. so i wanna thank my teachers for helping me last time, and for reminding me of the learnings in the past, and of cos i wanna thank my brothers who sticked with me through the darkest time of my life, i didnt know what good did i do previously to get to know such good brothers like you two, even though at one time one of you broke off with me, but it was due to my reckless behaviour, and we eventually re-united as brothers even up till today....so i just wanna say that i feel very very lucky to be in xinmin, where i get to meet so many inspiring teachers, good friends, and of cos good brothers whom i could always turn to in the need of help. even though we talk less now that we're seperated, i feel assured that no matter when and where, u all will be there for me, and i will forever be here for you, in case you're in any trouble. that's what brothers are meant to be.




i have to say time flies everytime i blog, bcos it's really v true. in 2 weeks time im going to get back my olvls results, and its really nerve-breaking. i've failed myself during the prelims and landed somewhere i didnt envisioned to be, will my olvl results be much better? better? same? or worse than i expect? i really dun dare to think and assume at this time, everything is getting so tense=[
i am afraid that i did worse than expected, thats obvious, it just shows that i didnt put in any effort, but in fact i did, and i worked the hardest i ever did in my life.
but im also afraid that i score better, esp if i score single digit, bcos then i will be trapped in a dilema of gng nj or staying at sa. nj has always been my dream college, i have nj posters and banners all around my bedroom, it is a sign of motivation for me during my studies..."proud to be" is the slogan that pushed me to study when i felt tired, and all the efforts i put in, i did it bcos i wanna go to nj. however the person up there always like to play tricks on us...after spending 3 weeks at sajc, i really begin to love the school, even though i was like the only person from xinmin in my og, we really got along v well, i begin to understand the joy of having friends and making friends. i also got to re-confirm my understanding of the Truth by relating to new ppl around me. even though we were from different schools, nvr did i felt isolated or forgotten, thats why i feel that sajc has easily won me over, bcos the friends there really make me feel at home. but one thing i dun really get use to is the practice of christian schools, bcos im not a christian and is the first time being in a christian school, i felt out of place during morning bible reading and prayers, other than that there's really no reason for me to reject sajc.
whatever the results maybe, i believe everything happened for a reason, and that there's always been an unknown force making things happen. but one has to bear responsiblity for their actions bcos no one is there to bear the consequences of our own mistakes, i know that i didnt prepare myself well enough for olvls, so im willing to accept whatever results i achieve. i just hope my og and my new-found friends will not break away from me that quickly, i agree that we are currently only reached the friends and good friends layer, so there nth much to lose even if we broke away from each other, but i sincerely hope that most of us become pals, and a handful of us become brothers and sisters, and maybe even closer=P whatever the case maybe, im glad that was able to get along with u ppl and hope that my image will always be good in ur memories...